Who Broke Up with Who?

[PrincessLinzay]

Ok, so here's my situation. I think I ultimately did the breaking up, but I want other viewpoints.

 

Ok, it has now been about 3 weeks of NC with my ex of 2 years. About 4 weeks ago, he called me to make plans on a Saturday night. (At this point in the relationship, we had been breaking up and getting back together on a regular basis. It was always: We broke up, he would call when he was ready, we would get back together) Anyways, he said he would call me shortly with the details....never called. I was sick of calling him when he was supposed to be calling me, so I didnt call that night, or all the next day. I did call the following night. He didn't answer, so I left a message stating that I thought that it was shady that he hadn't called and to call me back. I got nothing. So several days passed and I continued to call because at this point, I was really worried about him. I thought something had happened, and since we hadn't really fought, I truly was concerned that something had happened. I finally resorted to messages saying that if he didn't want to talk to me anymore, that was fine, just let me know that he was ok and I would stop calling and texting. I begged him pretty much. I was honestly worried. Im not the type of person to call all the time, so I know that he knew if he would just text me I would stop calling.

 

So after about a week of this, I finally called him from another persons phone. What do you know? He answered. I was so hurt and pissed off. He was with his friends. When I asked why he couldnt just let me know he was ok he said....and get this....."I was being annoying". I was in shock. What are you joking? After 2 years I wouldnt be concerned if calls just all the sudden stopped for no apparent reason? At first I cried. He said he would call me later and hung up on me! I was fuming at that point. I called back and he didnt answer so I left the following message. "Don't bother calling me, I won't be calling you I promise you that. I just wish you were the person I thought you were."

 

As soon as I left the message, I called my cellphone company and changed my number. Haven't called him since. Im pissed. What makes me the most mad is that he knows that Im not the type of girl who keeps calling where Im not wanted. I never call him when we break up. He was getting some SICK perverse pleasure out of me continuously calling and being worried about him. A simple text would have ended the phone calls. Im sure that he assumed he would call me when he was ready as usual, but that was the final straw and I had to take the power back somehow, I did this by changing my phone number. Not even two weeks before that he had wanted to get back together. I was so confused. Lately Ive been wondering if he thought that he had broken up with me. What do you all think? Thanks.

 

~Lindsay~[/b]

[Jitrenda]

Hey Linzay,

 

Hmm...that is seriously a tough one. One could say that he broke up with you, but he never said the words. Ultimately, he may be thinking that you broke up with him. b/c you left a message saying: "don't bother calling me, i won't be calling you." So ultimately that is what he should be thinking.

 

But honey you shouldn't worry about what he thinks. You took back some of the power, by changing your phone number, take some more back. *hugs*

 

But in reality, everything points to the fact you broke up with him.

 

i hope this helps *big hugs*

 

jitrenda

[PrincessLinzay]

Thank you. I know it's so stupid. I was doing really well for the first few weeks because I was SOOOOOO angry. I mean, I lived with him, saw him and talked to him everyday. (I just recently moved back home to save some money). It was just so ridiculous. I don't want him to think he got the best of me I guess. I find myself wondering if he called my phone and what he thought when he heard "this number is no longer in service".

 

It makes me mad that Im even missing him considering that I wouldn't get back with him anyways. I guess I want him to want me back even though I don't want to get back together. Make sense? I was always a very good girlfriend so I have no regrets about the way I treated him, but I want him to regret the way he treated me! I know Im a mess.

[p26]

I would say that he did the breaking up, because he was the one who flaked on you and didn't return your call.

 

That aside, sounds like he was a jerk for putting you through so much worry and not even affording you a simple text/call to let you know he was alright. That is pretty disrespectful and no matter who broke up with who, it sounds like you were more mature and respectful about it. I'm sure you'll be better without someone like that.

[PrincessLinzay]

Yeah. He was an jerk.

 

I think though that its in everyones nature to think about how everything was in the beginning, and want fervently for it to go back. Even though you know it won't. I should have ended things a long time ago but I got caught up in a vicious cycle. We had a destructive relationship and I know I should be glad Im now out. I just found that these past couple of days Ive been thinking about it more and more.