he moved to follow a dream, is there hope?

[mtski]

Was dating a guy that i was head over heels in love with. he had mentioned moving out of the country for a job and to explore the world. in fact he had an interview right before our first date but he didnt get the job. we started applying to jobs together and then stopped because i told him i didnt think we were ready to move to another country together, we had only been dating for 4 months. he ended up getting a job. we stayed together because we were in love, but deep down i knew he wasnt going to want to continue the relationship overseas. things got ugly because i was insecure of the fate of our relationship and i ended it even though i didnt want to.

 

we still talked and hung out sometimes.... any way, i just know he loves me. he finally left and we left on a good note. he skyped me.... i guess long story short, i was scared that it wasnt that "he couldnt handle long distance relationship" but that he wasnt in love with me. i kept at it and at it and asking him if it was because he didnt think i was the one. we only dated 8 months but i was basically living with him. and i was weeks away from moving in officially when he told me he got a job in another country.

 

i cant decide if i pushed him or if thats where he was to begin with. i kept asking him if he knew i wasnt the one and FINALLY after a fight i started asking him if he was dating already he said if he thought i was the one things would have been different. then weeks later i asked a friend of his if he was dating someone, of course she told him i asked and he said to stop contacting him and his friends and to move on because we will never be together again. i really believe it is out of anger that he said that and i know i was making this harder on both of us because i wanted something thats just not possible right now.

 

i know people reading this probably think im dumb and nuts.... but the way he looked at me and the things he did for me and the way he treated me.... he was just as in love with me as i was with him. i know he was. i think he couldnt stand a long distance relationship for 3 years, and we werent ready to move to europe together. i believe he is soul searching over there. he even said so himself. i hope after time, in his search for who he is, that he realizes what we had and wants a future for us again.

 

i havent talked to him for almost a month. i know what is meant to be will be.... it could be years before i run into him and if its gonna happen, its gonna happen regardless, but in the mean time, what do i do?!?! i am focusing on me and learning a lot about myself and things I would do differently the next time around and i am finally realizing that it was me that wasn't ready. i have healing to do from old relationships that cause me to have trust issues. i want to be the best me i can be when we cross paths if there is any chance of us salvaging anything. i know im not ready right now, im getting my life on track.

 

am i dumb for having faith? i know anything is possible but what do you think? is there hope?