I want to get closer to this girl, but how?

[Anonymous22]

The title says it all, I want to get close to her, but it's hard to do so.

A year ago she didn't want a relationship and didn't take the time to hang out with people.

I think she mostly hanged around girls, and her sister and maybe went partying.

Now, she seems to be more open into wanting to date someone because I was one of the guys that

wanted to hang out with her but she would always flake on me. We never saw face to face back then only when we came accross each other at school.

Lately we talk more often, and she seems kind of flirty and caring. I give her rides home because I wouldn't want her leaving school super late either so as a gentleman I give her rides. Sometimes she speaks of going to the movies or telling to go clubbing sometimes even saying going to a theme park. I always respond with sure, why not. I realize she tends to forget about these things, only when I remind her. If she's really that open now than before isn't that a step forward? I want to hug her and kiss her on the cheek maybe even grow closer to her into getting into a relationship, but I don't know how. We only seem to talk to each other on the days I give her a ride, and she tends to send me good morning messages then and try to want to hang out. Other than that we don't speak during the the days that she doesn't need a ride, and on the weekends. I find it odd and I feel used, and sometimes tell myself to not deal with her anymore. In some ways I kind of get hope on her because she becomes flirtatious and really sweet with me.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. Should I try getting close to her? or should I just move on?

 

If I try getting close to her what steps should I take to get close to her?

 

If I move on what steps should I take to push her away out of my life?

[Nattersmatter]

(Why did no-one respond to this?)

 

I would say, *if* these hints about how, "I'm thinking of" or "we could go" (which?) to the movies/clubbing/theme park, are a brand new development rather than something she always used to do in front of you, she's definitely...well - HINTING... in which case, yes, that would certainly appear to be a step forward.

 

So it's no good you responding with only, "Sure!" as leave the onus on HER to close the deal. *You* da man...You're meant to secure a day and time... e.g., 'Well, I'm free and wanting someone to hang with on Xday... Do you fancy us doing a movie(/whatever) together?'... or even better, 'I'm planning on going to see X movie on Xday as it happens; would you like to come with me?'.

 

It sounds very much to me from all you've said, you see, that she's shy (unless she's at a safe distance, with her mobile phone, or when she has a genuine need as her excuse (the rides)) thus lacks the chutzpah to do the actual asking out, save for all these hints.

 

When you ask her on a date, give her more than just the one day/time option - just to be sure that if you get an initial No, it's only because she's busy that day/time. If she says no to a further two alternative day/time suggestions, however, then you'll know she's not interested in you beyond acquaintanceship If she says no to a further two alternative day/time suggestions, however, then you'll know she's not interested in you beyond acquaintanceship (and was merely musing out-loud about what movies, etc.) and can move on.

 

 

You can either push her away out of your life or do nothing whilst accepting your feelings are unrequited. If that's too hard then, yes, remain smiling and civilly friendly from then on but cease putting yourself out with these offers of lifts, etc.

 

Hope that helps. xoxo

[Nattersmatter]

(duplication)

[Anonymous22]

Thank you for the response Nattersmatter, Well to update you on the days I haven't response to this was that yesterday like I said I give her rides I kind of got close to her because she was kind of letting me hug her and kiss her/bite her on the cheek, but even so I felt a little push from her. Maybe because she's not a very affectionate person? or maybe because she doesn't want to be hug? I don't know, but even so everytime I went for a bite or kiss on the cheek our lips were getting close, but I didn't attempt to kiss her because I didn't want to disrespect her either. She also looked at my lips when staring into her eyes. Even so if that's a little sign of her wanting to kiss me I want to give her a sign of letting her know I do really want to kiss her as well, but I don't want to disrespect her I want to kiss her when she's with me in a relationship. I also been realizing she kind of bugs me or tries to get me jealous in some sort maybe even mad. How? For example, everytime i'm with her and we have a conversation of me struggling in my classes. She would say something like "Maybe you should get help from other girls, you know flirt with them so you can pass the class *giggles*" or when we set up a day to go to the movies, and her friend (Who said I was cute) was going she said something like. "Because of me being busy we didn't end up going to the movies, but if you want you could of gone with my friend... you know have a date with her *laughs*" I mean I know she may be doing that to bug me or maybe testing me out, but it just bugs the hell out of me. Like why would she say things like that to me? Not only that, but her texting while i'm with her gives me the thought of her talking with other guys. Not only that too, but the other day when she went out for her birthday (Halloween clubbing) she showed me her costume, and she lied saying she didn't dress up that day, but she did. So I told her to show me her phone so I can see pictures. She avoided showing me these pictures.

 

It seems like she deleted the pictures she didn't want to show me maybe because she kind of took long to actually show me. When the time came she said "Ok, I'll show you the pictures I have nothing to hide." I saw some pictures that bugged me, I didn't went further because then it will bug me even more. When I drop her off, sometimes she also tells me to drop her off in a different location. I ask her why because I mean her safety what matters to me the most. She doesn't really want to tell me, but towards the end she says "My mom is going to pick me up there." I become at ease when she says that, but it feels like she is going to meet with someone.

 

I just don't know her actions are just really bugging me...

 

And thank you for the advice, next time we are talking about a day I'm going to be forceful in giving her the day and time. I don't know if that will happen because lately, ive been feeling blue about all this. Half of me doesn't want to deal with it, and the other half wants to be with her.

 

What do you think?