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struck for direction.......


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hey guys.i havent posted in a while but hope u guys are all ok.


recently,ive been through a bit of a down patch mainly because i hadnt seen all my friends in ages.but i saw them a couple of weeks ago and it was then that i realised the problem is more deep rooted.


to put the situation into context,i met most of my current friends this time last year but we are all leaving town this time next year as we are all off to university for further study.this means we are all separating.so basically,im starting my lofe all over again.


at first,i really liked the idea and we really looking forward to it.but i realise that as these friendships have just started,they are about to end and it saddens me.i love my friends very much and i wish i didnt have to go away from them cos they r the coolest.


the other thing,i have had few relationships and i wish to be out there dating but it just doesnt seem worth it as im leaving for university next year.as a result,im not going to even try for girlfriend and its depressed me to a certain degree.i have no experience of a proper relationship with someone as my only relationship was long distance.im sort of eager to have some experience but i guess i will have to wait until university for that.

basically im desparate to improve as a person but dont feel i am able to at this moment in time and it frustrates me.


any thoughts please.

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Hi uongy,


I know what you mean about being afraid of losing friends. Since i sarted college 4 years ago, I've drifted from all but a few of the people I knew in highschool and pretty much had to start over again as well. Being a senior in college, I'm afraid of that happening again after i graduate. The best thin g you can do is make sure you keep up on how to contact them, get their screennames, email addresses, and phone numbers, and keep up contact with them once you all start to move away. As far as starting a relationship now, thats up to you, I know people who have gone to college and had their relationships from highschool continue, and people who've had relationships fall apart.


I hope i've helped a little,


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Dear Uongy,


...i realised the problem is more deep rooted.


to put the situation into context...


Do you also realise that a problem is a situation in a context. If nothing is situated in a context, there is no problem.


The deep rooted problem you speak of is the attempt to deeply root yourself somewhere. Being not situated/rooted does not mean one no longer exists; it means one does not see oneself in/as a problem.


...im not going to even try for girlfriend...


'Trying' is the attempt to locate something. Nothing can be located without reference to something else.


So trying is splitting oneself into/between here and there - not very comfortable. This 'lack of comfort' may well be the degree of depression you write of.


basically im desparate to improve as a person but dont feel i am able to at this moment in time and it frustrates me.


You talk of basics. Basically a 'person' is an idea: a set of held thoughts and feelings.


You talk of improving as a person. The idea of improvement is an idea that an idea (a person) can become an ideal idea (an ideal person). The ideal or perfect idea (perfect person) is just an idea. No wonder you feel desparate and frustrated.



Thank you for the opportunity to express some ideas.

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