is there a point when you meet your Ex's (with kids) SO?

[paperboy48]

Is there a point where you meet the Ex's significant other?

 

My ex wife has been seeing the same guy for seven months. He is now a part of my kids lives....he is with them a lot when my ex has the kids. I would not be surprised if he is living with them by the end of the year?

 

has anyone met their Ex's SO just to know the person who is now another parent figure to your children?

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[RedDress]

I don't have children myself, but just looking at my sister and her (not so new) new husband's relationships (they both have children from previous relationships), I think it depends on how amicable the split was.

 

My sister divorced amicably from her ex. As a result, yes. My ex- bil has met my new bil and my sister has met my ex-bil's SO. They've all had dinner together and actually, when my ex-bil was in the hospital, my sister gave his SO a lift to the hospital as she didn't have the means to get there. This all happened organically during the exchange of their son.

 

My BIL did not have an amicable split with his ex. It was incredibly drama-filled and there's really no friendship to be had. He goes alone to pick up/drop off his daughter (well... sometimes my sister will go) - but they text the daughter and she comes out. There is almost zero interaction with the parents. They are two different worlds. Truth be told, you know if things are ok over there or not by talking to your child.

 

I think that's what it comes down to. The amicable level of the split.

[RedDress]

Just wanted to add - it's also dangerous territory a bit. You are talking about wanting to know the other person who will parent your child... It kind of makes it sound like you have veto power. Which you don't. Even if you hate the guy - tough luck for you. Unless he is exposing the children to drugs or molesting them or something, you have no rights... Just sayin'.

[sharky988]

Agree with the above. I have a child with my ex-husband and would keep him from having any interaction with a boyfriend unless I could be sure there wouldn't be any drama. It's about parenting -- not romance. When my ex-husband showed he could be civil and unemotional during such a meeting, that's when he gets to meet the man in my life.

 

I do this for the sake of our son, so that he doesn't have to feel uncomfortable by any tension between the adults in his life. I honestly don't care what my ex-H thinks of my boyfriend. Luckily we're on friendly terms now so it hasn't been an issue for years.