My friend is anorexic...what should i do?

[Dei]

I just found an e-mail my friend sent to herself....read look in the mirror...what do you see? i can tell you that theres a girl there who should be a lot more thin...get a grip and stop eating the way you do!...its not good for you so im making a meal plan for you so you don't get even more fat!think of how it feels to be to full...not good! it makes you WANT to stick your finger down your throat..think of how it feels to feel thin and be happy...we want that feeling back so follow the guidelines!--you don't want to make anyone not like you becasue youve gained weight! b/c ppl will notice and they wont think you look good anymore...for once let yourself be accepted.....can u believe it? she it totally anorexic. i can't believe how twisted her mind is. I've know her password since like grade six, but i never check it. She told me her password when we were in grade 6..but i don't think she remembers that i know it anymore. I never check her e-mail...i was just bored...i don't know what made me do it. I can't believe i found this e-mail. I don't know what to do... If i confort her, she'll just deny it and be soo mad that i checked her e-mail. I don't even know what i checked her e-mail. Please could someone give me advice? And why do you think she sent herself an e-mail about eating too much?

[sisterlynch]

I think she is trying to motivate herself to try harder. I don't think that you should use this information against her -- like confronting her or telling her mom, but just watch her actions.

 

She probably is dealing with self-esteem issues and wants others to accept her for who she is on the outside, versus how you know her.

 

Put your hand on her arm or hand, and compare how they look. Do this very casually, because she is most-likely paranoid about how she looks...

 

Ask her what she thinks about different movie stars or people in show business.

 

The act of emailing herself probably shows that she is lonely, or feels like she is keeping secrets from others.

[pumkin_fairy]

maybe she isnt anorexic just a bit low in herself and wants to go on a casual diet.. BUT on the other hand she could be. so try talking to her but if u ask her about the email she mite think u have like been invading her privacy but i agree with sisterlynch she is SO rite!!

[sisterlynch]

Thank you Pumpkin Fairy!!

[pumkin_fairy]

its all good!!

[lonelysoul]

can i just add this: from my experience.

 

im a 17 yrold guy and i used to get depressed, a lot. i felt awful and didnt care about anything. i then turned anorexic ( dunno if its les common in guys.) and my friends kinda turned on me, mocked and insulted me.

 

i then met my best mate Rob, who understood i guess, and we got on really well and i stopped being anorexic (tho not overnight) . so, a lot of it is all about confidence and feeling good in urself.

[whathappensnext]

i think she could be but she might not be you don't want to jump to conclutions. they are right you don't want to confront her to quickly. she will think you invaded her space. if you do hint to it don't just come out and say it. you never know i guess she might be open to talking about it.

[tabbi]

I think your friend is very lucky to have a friend that cares about her as much as you do. I think the best thing for you to do is just keep caring about her, and most importantly be there for her, try your best to be compassionate and don't judge her. None of us have the right to judge others until we have lived in their shoes. She probably feels ashamed of the way she feels, and maybe that makes her feel too embarrassed to tell you about it. You can't force her to change no matter how much you care about her, she will never change until she is willing and understands how to change. There are usually deep issues that the person needs to deal with that can only be dealt with by a professional. Since you can't probably fill that role for her, I personally think the best thing for you to do is be there for her, and not admit to reading her email. It would probably be beneficial for her to have at least one person who she feels she can trust. I think it would help to remind her every once in awhile of how great she looks and what a great person she is. Let her know that no matter what happens, you'll always be there for her if she needs to talk, and you'll never judge her.