meeting wiht ex, how can i keep my cool?

[puppy13]

tonight all of my friends and i (couples) are going out to have fun , we dont all get together too often but heres the problem . about a month ago i asked my ex if she wanted to come along but she declined, but now she has invited herself and just says she is going to do her own thing. we are all going to be sitting together. she says she doesnt want me back but says she loves me still. its been about 5 months since we split up but we still remained friends . i split up with her but now know i made a mistake. but 2 days ago we got into a argument and have not spoken since. then she decided to go. she has her own friends.

am i setting myself up for heartache if i go . to see her dance with someone else will hurt but i will keep my cool

should i still go or stay home?i have a feeling that i am going to be in for a jealous night. or will she see the real me again , having fun with friends and rekindle a old spark. i know not to hassle her about us . just sit back and try to have fun. i wish she would not go but i also am happy she is going. in so confused . any advice?

best of luck to all of you and i hope someday every one finds happiness again.

[frizzle]

Well if you had those plans to go already and she just invited herself along you should still go. If you change your mind now it will show her that she still has control and influence over you. It might hurt and be upsetting inside but do not show it at all. It's just one event remember, just be cool hang with your friends and smile and laugh.

[aberdeenhjetman]

your situation sounds a bit like mine only it was her that dumped me cos she wasnt ready for a bf (even thou we'd bin goin out 4 3 months but thats women 4 u) and according to sum of her friends she sttill likes me but just dosent want a bf. so it mite be the same 4 her maybe shes still gettin over splittin up. jus gotta wait n see. id go along anyway n chat to her u never now like u say it mite remind her of the gd times u had together.

 

when i did it it was actully me who organised it as an excuse to see her n i kinda flirted with her a bit and she flirted back and now shes bin much moreactive towards me like txtin me randomly askin wot im doin n stuff like that.

 

look at it this way wot have u got to lose

 

 

gd luck

[puppy13]

well , i survived. i sat accross the table from her all night and i didnt screw up once. i sat and had a riot all night. i had a much better time than she did . i think i only talked to her twice. but wasnt ignoring her. i felt like i was in control instead of her. it felt great. now i am thinking of doing the n\c rule to see what happens. is this a good decision? i dont want to mess this up.

[Amox]

I think n/c is a very good option at this moment: with the courage you gained from that party-night, it'll be a lot easier to maintain no contact and you can go on with your life easier. You won't screw up with this imo.

[puppy13]

heres a update. after saturday night i didnt call her for 3 days and then i couldnt help myself and called. i was expecting her not to answer the phone or be really cold towards me but she seemed to actually be happy to hear from me. she was friendly and nice. she initiated all of the conversations and we talked like we did before we broke up. it was a pleasant surprise. nothing came up about us, which i made a point of not talking about . this felt so good. could she be starting to think about us ? im positive that she still loves me because she told me so even whin she was angry with me. should i do the n\c thing now to see how long before she calls or just call her every couple of days to say hi? i cant understand because all saturday night at the bar and afterwards at a house party she was so cold towards me and for a week before also. any ideas to help me get my sanity back?

i am almost positive that in the right setting that we would end up back together. i can still see the look in her eyes sometimes but she can be a really stubborn girl . i wish that i would have found this site before i did all the stupid things. whinning and crying dont get you nowhere. thanx for letting me vent. it sucks because i broke up with her for a stupid reason and she was heartbroken. now i know that it was the stupidest thing that i have ever done and ever will do . but she says she still loves me but it wont work out. life sucks today