What if you need help?

[nicholascrack]

I'm in a very tough period in my life right now and the break up with my girfriend was especially difficult for me.

 

I think its more than just being sad about losing her. Its almost as if I have lost a lot of the joy I used to have. At what point do you have to say, "I need to talk to someone to get out of this rut."

 

Feeling down and out,

 

Nicholas

[avman]

Well if you have lost the joy of life then I do think its time to talk to someone. There's nothing wrong with doing a little counseling. If you are already asking yourself whether its time - it probably is.

 

Break-ups can be very traumatic. Sometimes you need a little assistance in moving on with your life.

[CarterJonas]

I agree with avman. Has it been long since you have split up? I remember after my split up some time ago now that I also felt low for the first few months although it has now got a lot better.

[mtastic]

In agreement with avman and carterjonas. No shame in counciling, its good to be able to talk to someone about that stuff. I was dumped 6 months ago (today in fact), and it really messed me up. I started going to counciling about a month after my breakup, and it has helped me quite a bit, as well as posting here. Its good to be able to talk to someone about your problems and get some feedback on your situation. I say look into counciling. If you're a student check out your school's health services department, most colleges and universities offer free counciling services to students, if only for a limited number of sessions.

 

Best of luck to you,

mtastic

[nicholascrack]

Well, I guess I should give a little background.

 

I'm 21 and made a lot of bad choices. I got arrested for trafficking, and at this age, it feels like everything is over. I try to get a legitimate job but doors close because of my charges.

 

I broke up with my girlfriend of four years about four-six months ago. It was kind of more of a demise than a break-up. A lot of things happened that were traumatic to me; I saw her with another guy two weeks after I got arrested, they had been intimate...these things have had a lasting impression on me. I just can't seem to get past a lot of these feelings.

 

Trying to get on the right track is the most difficult part sometimes...

 

Nicholas

[fantasia2004]

I don't think you should give up hope at this point. Oppportunities open up everytime a door closes on you . You must be optimistic. My world ended when My ex dumped me and I lost faith in myself and my friends ended relationships from me. But that does not mean things will not get better. You must keep trying. If you need therapy go for it . There is nothing wrong with it.

 

As for your girl, how serious she is with this guyshe is seeing depends on her and not you. You have more things to worry about than about her. Stick to the plan on you . Maybe she is waiting for you to clean up your act. Breathing space you know but you must show her by being you and worrying about you and trying to do what is best for you for now. The rest will follow like a domino effect.

 

Last time I check you were on a high point to self-discovery. Stay that way and do not let your ex dating someone else get you down. You have more things to do . You might have been arrested with the law, but that does not spell the end for you. It means you have learned from your mistakes and are taking a different turn for the better and going forward . Don't go backwards. Forwards only. I did that all my life and never learned from it. Until now. If you believe and that is the only way I suggest you get started on focusing on you and venture out on improving yourself. That is the only way.

[nicholascrack]

Fantasia,

 

I REALLY appreciate your posts, all the time. I guess I should clarify, my ex saw the guy but they broke up after just two weeks. She is now single, as am I. We hang out all the time and talk constantly. Her actions during that time with the new guy really hurt me and I have to forgive, but not forget (I'm stealing from your signature ). Its important to do that so that we can move on as individuals and move on as friends, perhaps more in the future.

 

And you put it all into perspective. Tragically, this weekend, I lost a friend of mine. I don't know all the particulars, but he was selling drugs, like me. He was in the middle of getting busted and decided to swallow the drugs and ended up dying of an overdose. I am at a loss of words. It is such a shock to all of us. Of all the ways to go, that is one...

 

Life is so precious. I'm glad I'm out and doing the right thing now. I can sympathize with my friend. I know what he felt. He had gotten arrested three weeks before, and I know what you think, "stupid. why would you go back," but its a different world sometimes. His back was against the wall. When I was getting arrested, if I had had more time, I might have done the same thing, (swallowing the drugs) not knowing the harm it could cause. Its just such a shame...

 

sorry for getting off topic there. Fantasia, you're heavensent.

 

R.I.P. Chason

 

Nicholas