quick qustion...

[Phoenix Down]

My ex called last night after only 3 weeks of no contact but I was too ripped and didn't find out til this morning. Should I call her back, or just wait til she calls again? PD

[viola]

hi Phoenix Down!

i guess u should call her back, show her that u didnt mean to abvoide her and tell her what happened even though she is ur ex...

good luck ...

[Phoenix Down]

Viola,

Thats what my heart told me, but so far what I've learned is at this stage listen to lodgic. She didn't leave a message, so you still think I should call her? PD

[sisterlynch]

Give her a call.

 

Just say that you were out and you were too tired to come to the phone, but that you still value her as a friend, and wanted to get back to her right away.

[Phoenix Down]

Sister,

I really really want to, but I don't want to hand her the leash around my neck I just got back in my hands. (if that makes any sense) Maybe I should wait a little bit and then call. (sometime today) What do you think? PD

[sisterlynch]

I was only encouraging you to do what I thought you wanted. You do what you want. I just thought that if she is your ex, then she may want something from you that is all.

 

There isn't anything wrong with having her in your life as a friend, is there?

 

Do you feel torn in two directions? Like something is pulling you to be with her and something is pulling you away from her? Is that why the relationship feels like a leash to you? Or did you just wish to have a little more freedom than what she wants you to have??

[Silencer]

Give her a day or so to try again, if she doesn't then call her back.

[viola]

i agree with sisterlynch, do what u feel like want to, dont push ur self too hard and take it easy.

good luck

[fantasia2004]

wait till they call.

[Phoenix Down]

She called again on sat. But get this... My dad has some business with my ex's aunt. Why she called me to give a message to my dad I don't know. See this is what I mean, when she calls it's just about something retarded. I guess I could have tried to start some kind of conversation but I was in a hurry. I don't know, I'm thinking about sending her a e-mail

and asking how she's do'n, see if that way we can at least talk about us and not being go between people for every one else. What do you think?

Phoenix...

[sisterlynch]

She doesn't get that you are still hurting. She is only interested in her own feelings, I guess. She needed your feedback on what she wanted to say to your dad, but you are not interested in making small talk with her.

 

She is treating you like a friend. She doesn't get that you are trying to move forward.

[Phoenix Down]

she might be seeing someone I'm not sure. I'm not really mad or angry

I'm just confused. I sent her a e-mail today to see if I could start some small talk. Small stuff about work and life (not about our past) My brother said it sounded like she just called to make contact. According to our friends we both come off as acting every time we're around each other. I don't want to "act " any more. It feels so cold after a open 3 year relationship. But she wanted the time so I'm do'n what she does. I'm just afraid to bring up the past. Thats what all this is for, time to change and fix things, but ever sense I said I'd be friends with her she's stoped calling so much, and so in turn I've started no contact. So now that she's the only one who everonce in a while calls, but it's about dumb stuff I don't know how to take any thing. Is she trying to just reach me? Should I start a conversation? And how, what do I bring up. It's been so long sense we started this retarded acting phase, I fear if I let down some of my guard she'll think I'm still the same and will loose intrest. I'd love If we could talk and not be this way, but I dont know how to start that.

[sisterlynch]

I can't really say unless I knew a lot more about the topic. She probably doesn't want to move forward, so she is hanging on to the way that you were when the two of you were together. some people don't believe in change and growing up, she may always feel like you still are in love with her!

 

What do you think the "acting" is about? Both of you pretending like you have moved on?

[Phoenix Down]

It's been about 3 monts sense we broke up. It was a big mix of things that messed us up. Mostly on my part. When we met I was still hooked on another girl but she said she still wanted to try. Well over time it worked but my ex kept poping up of and on and at times it would mess with me. Crystal, (my resent ex) got bothered by it, and I can understand. Just a bunch of dumb things I did. Also she often would want me to sit with her so she could relax and put her head in my lap, but 6 times out of ten I'd be doing something else. I was so dumb. We dont know what we have till it's gone, and I so wish I had the chance to give her my all. After we split up I got that all off of my chest. I even told her she never had all of me, but it took this to see it ( the brake up) I want to give her my all but she said we shuold start over and be friends and slowly work our way back into things. I've made some major changes, but I'm not done. I'd love to try things again but I want her to honsetly have all of me. I want to make sure I'm ready to be all she needs and all i need. But I can't tell her. Only wait. Thats why I'm so stressed out about our contact. I'm so sorry for how I took her for granted. But only my actions can fix things now. If they can even be fixed. I don't know what she thinks.

[popo]

Phoenix Down,

 

if u still have feeling for her and arent ready to be her friend, then dont u ever iniciate the contact. if she really needs u, she'll find a way. let her do efforts while u heal ur self.

[sisterlynch]

It seems like you didn't really value the relationship with her. You wanted another girl at the start, now you really wish that she were out of your life completely. Is she sort of clingy?

[Phoenix Down]

Crystal was really into me, I think it was because I do music or something.

Even tho I was still hung up over my last ex, she still wanted to try things.

She was always there for me, I became addicted to the fact that I had some one there for me when ever I needed her. I kept a lot of my true feeling for her inside I think because if I told her I felt I would loose some power over everything. (Wrong I know) I don't think I really knew what I was doing n-till after the relationship. I feel so bad, I was such an ass.

I started to be more open on how I felt twards her (crystal) It hit me one day while I was driving home from work, I had such a bad day but the thought that I'd see her soon made me feel so much better. I guess I took too long. I was such a fool to treat her that way for so long. I don't mean to make it seem like it was all bad. We had a lot of really good times as well, more than bad. But the time'n was bad when the bad times rolled around. One thing she said to a friend right after we split up was "I tried so hard for so long to make him happy". When I herd that I wanted to run up to her and tell her how happy she really made me. I was such a fool.

[sisterlynch]

Why don't you send her a card and tell her how you felt, in a poem or something like that?

[Phoenix Down]

Sister...

I write music, but I coulden't write for her till now. I have three new songs for her but I dno't want to hand her my heart with nothing in return. She knows of the songs but hasn't herd them yet. She also seemed upset when she herd other people listened to them before her.

If you want to listen to some tracks off of my last album you can go to (link removed) and look for a blue and white CD called (Shaunacy)thats me. let me know what you think...please. Have an open mind tho. I was reaised overseas so my style is kinda funky. thanks again Phoenix