my troubles

[SilenThunder]

Almost 7 years ago, I met a friend online. She lived 700 km away but, we chatted online often and throughout the years we were in and out of contact. We sent letters, pictures and the odd gift every other christmas.

 

4 years ago I moved to where I am now and we live closer, only about 3 hours away. We only met once last summer because she had to come into the city to get a passport (lives in a small town).

 

We had breakfast together (this was the first time we met) then walked around this boring small mall for a few hours. As boring as the mall was, I had a great time with her, something just.... "clicked" and I just totally started crushing on her.

 

Sure I knew alot about her, but I had never met her in person... One or twice talked on the phone, the rest was msn, letters and e-mail.

 

Once we returned to our homes, we were chatting on msn. I admitted to her that, after we talked for a bit... I was totally crushing on her, I wanted to hug her, hold on to her forever type of thing...

 

Much to my surprise, she admitted to feeling the same way about me, and said she didn't want to let go of me when we hugged goodbye.

 

I know I know... bad bad, but I also had a girlfriend at the time of this meaning... We broke up about a month ago. I had no worries about the break-up and everything is fine. I'm not the type of person that always has to be with someone (unlike my ex).

 

Lately, I find myself thinking about the friend I met... We talk on msn all the time, have been all summer as well. We're both religious, which is a hard thing for me to find in a girl that i'm interested in and we both just seem to... fit... get along... what have you.

 

This week, I made a very crappy attempt to tell her how I feel about her. That I think about her alot and that she means alot to me, despite the fact that she does have a boyfriend. I just felt like I needed to tell her that she meant alot to me.

 

AGAIN, much to my surprise she told me that she feels just about the same way (except she worded it much much better)... She told me that... Often there are time where she should be thinking about her boyfriend, or going to her boyfriend about something but she really finds herself thinking about me or comeing online to talk to me about something.

 

I find this very confusing, but in my heart... I know that, I love her and I've fallen for her... Very much, but i'm not sure what I can really do about it. Not much obviously.

 

She's moving here next year to go to university, but so is her boyfriend... Who knows if they will be together (they have broken up once already).

She told me, she often thinks of what it would be like if we were together and that she wants to get to know me in person better...

 

I just, can't seem to get her off my mind lately. I'd give anything just to get a hug from her, I still feel the hug we gave eachother before we said goodbye... and it was the greatest feeling in the world...

 

I'm confused... I'm worried... I'm lonely... I'm everything!

 

No, its not a rebound from my last relationship... I'm definitely over that!

 

If anyone has anything to comment... questions... anything, please feel free... It just feels good to get this off my mind for a bit.

 

Thanks

[russia]

you have to realise that a real relationship is not the same as a virtual one. just cos you hit if off virtually, and then that one meeting, is no guarantee it will work out in real life.

 

so she is scared. she is attracted to your virtual personality, which everyone knows, is never the real you. she already has a bird in the bush (boyfriend) with a firm future. why chuck it for someone like you?

 

until both of you are real to each other in the virtual world, you are never going to win her over. cos you don't have the chance at the real thing as she is going to uni soon.

 

however, as i am one who has gone through this before, i can say that when the 2 of you stop being virtual but real in your virtual world, your crush will turn into real love too.

 

how do you stop being virtual. it means, don't pretend. if something isn't you in real life, don't do it in the virtual. and of course, she will also pretend. so it takes some time and lots of sharing and love and confidence before both your virtual armor is removed to expose the real persons

 

it's going to take a lot of effort, believe me. if i had a choice, i'd go the real path instead. meet a real girl and take her out on dates. WYSIWYG