Do You Follow This Age Old Tradition

[Shane Grayson]

"Never leave something until

you have found something better."

 

I recently meet this girl whom at first

Mentioned that she had been single for

about 2 years. I recently went on date with

Her and, either she wasn't paying attention or

She was trying to blow me off, mentioned that

She had been seeing a guy, not seriously,

For almost 2 years.

 

So, how many of you find it more important

To try and find someone better before leaving

the person you are currently with?

[pippy longstocking]

may I just calrify what you mean by she was trying to blow you off

 

I have a feeling we have just hit a language barrier

[ToF]

I think that's called cheating.

[HeartGoesOn]

I find that to be disrespectful.

 

People are not cars that you can trade in for a newer, or different model.

[pippy longstocking]

I think this happens a lot actually ..

 

not good

[Shane Grayson]

She was trying to blow me off, mentioned that

 

Correction: She was trying to get me to feel uninterested in her.

If so, then she did a great job If not, well, I don't know.

 

I agree with the "we are not car" quote, but people do

Do this quite a bit.

Happens to me quite a bit;

I seem to be just a commodity to most women

 

And your right, it sounds like cheating to me too.

[secondchance67]

Its a true reflection of our society and the desensitized way we interact with one another.

 

Social media has killed the necessity (or desire and motivation) to work on a R/S...why work at when you can jump on FB and look up an old flame? Go on a dating site and have 50 emails from eligible "dates" in 24 hours?

 

Why put in any effort if the mindset is that there is always something better just around the corner??

 

Unfortunately, this has become the norm in most break ups; Most people fear being alone more than death or disease...and those are the people that "upgrade" and think that by constantly "trading up" they are always with the best fit for them at any given time.......for the time being, anyway, until its time to upgrade to a better model, and the cycle repeats...and repeats....

[toby17]

I don't understand why people get into relationships sometime.

 

Trading up means you're not really interested in people or who they are.

 

The other day I was talking to a couple in their 50s whose son and daughter-in-law are getting divorced, and they said something that made it obvious they felt sorry for young people who are unable to commit and have what they have. And I know a few couples like them.

 

Personally, I feel caught in the middle of 2 generations. Wanting what they have, but only attracting frivolous time-wasters.

 

OP, just flush and move on. Whether she's messing around or trying to blow you off, let her go mess with someone else.

[blueidealist24]

Doesn't that statement normally apply to jobs, not relationships? I think it's rude to be searching for other partners while still dating your current one. If you really don't think your current partner is good enough, at least have the courage and decency to let him or her go and find someone who is more compatible with them instead of sneaking around behind their back.

[Miss Firecracker]

A friend of mine many years ago explained, "You gotta start somewhere."

[Shane Grayson]

Doesn't that statement normally apply to jobs, not relationships?

 

Well color me red and call me a rooster (I have no idea what that means)!

Lmao, that is where I heard the quote O.o

Damn, in that case, I have been being treated like a commodity these past couple of years

I guess with all the relationship crap I have been seeing and experiencing

I have been getting things confused; I feel kind of sad now

[Avila]

it's a pretty crappy thing to do. in many circumstances it's cheating. those who do this are afraid to be alone. my ex is one such example. best to stay away from these types of people as i don't think they are really capable of being fully engaged in a relationship because their motives are not the same as those of us who are able to be single. that's just my opinion anyway.

[Coconut Twin]

We live in a 'disposable society'....unfortunately.

 

Our attention spans are dwindling - most of us switch of if a subject matter is boring. We want instant answers, instant solutions, hence instant gratification, and the same rationale goes for relationships. Maybe if we find our partner increasingly boring or dull, we can just press the delete button in our heads and switch off. 'Good enough' doesn't even cut the mustard anymore, can't be tolerated and we demand and expect perfection.

 

It's like in the business world pour example - the "100% satisfaction guaranteed!" is used as a promotional tool, yet unrealistically we expect that same level of guarantee from our partners. It's like give me singledom, 'Ann summers' and chocolate for life anyday lol. I'm not prepared to bust my gut trying to be this "perfect person" without fault because that's just not human.

 

Funny - my mentality is that of, IF I get into any relationship it WILL end, and it's not even from a bitter or negative place. I'm looking at it from a more philosophical point of view - that everything is impermanent, i.e. I find it easier to accept a relationship for what it is and enjoy it with no grand expectations. So that's my own way with dealing with this "tradition".

 

Overall though, I feel if we like reappraise our view about relationships and their place and worth in todays fast paced world then maybe things will be different, I don't know..time will tell. It'll take a major mind shift - breaking away from what is now 'the norm'.