Aika Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Hi there here I am again coz my problem gets deeper and deeper to the point I'm desperate and completely lost so... some advice would really be appreciated ^^ the thing is, I posted before about my GF and no contact stuff... didn't work cause she insist in us being friends now and even when I tried it we use to frecuent the same places so she noticed... I've been trying to let go and forget about it but I discovered it is impossible for me... no matter what I do, there she is back in my head again and I know it sounds the typical case but I know it isn't... cause when I remember whats to come, her eventually meeting someone else and forgetting about the times she said she would love me for ever ..it causes me a horrible stomach ache and even anxiety... in other words... I really cant live this reality, dont wanna live in a wolrd where she is not meant for me, I just can't, so.... I've decided to try one more time to go back to her but whenever I try to speak to her about it I get constrained just to see her happy face with her friends and her nice attitude towards me... i'm really confused cause I'm really suffering because of all this break up stuff which she does not even seem to remember ... I started drinkin.. sometimes I just can't take it, so to shut the pain up I get a little glass (don't need much of that stuff coz it gets to me real fast hehe) and well... sometimes I look at her msn profile and while she changes her picture, she doesn't change the personal data, it still says she's not single (same in my case since I noticed that) I also notice some jealously when I talk to her about other girls or when she sees pictures of me with them ... but her attitude.. I don't know, for me losing her is losing absolutly everything, and she seems the same as always after this whole thing... so please please, advice me coz ím about to explode just to think about all this, can' take it anymore... should I really keep beggin? or is it taking me nowhere but deeper in her memories ... or is she just pretending her smile like I do.... I do all this coz I know there is no one who could ever lover as much as I do, and if I don't get her back I could start thinkin about a good brigde to jump from U_U thanks to all who reply in advance. Link to comment
vitalcoaching Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 Hi, I know exactkly how you feel. Begging? the worst option! Don't! It is a turn off. Right now, you look and sound desperate. This puts you down. It creates a big disbalance of power between the twe of you. Put yourself in her shoes. What kind of guy would she want to date? Someone who is strong and confident or someone who is begging and desperate? You get the picture? The first step is to get your full power back. You might believe you can't live without her? Wrong! You can and you know that! There is a source of power in you which is stronger than this challenge. There are resources in yourself you are not tapping into. Wake this up and foucs 100% on rebuilding your strength and confidence. When you wake up in the morning, think of these two simple words: "power!", "confidence!" Get them back! These qualities are in you. Dare to tap into them and express them. This is about you! It is your life! and I know you understand these words Stay in touch vitalcoach Link to comment
Aika Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 see.. you got in the point... im really desperate, just right now I cried like a little baby cause mi ex said hi.. and then bye like nothing.... just when I was willing and daring to tell her what I feel...... right now i'm a Drunk bastard.. can't help it you know?... i wrote a letter for her for not getting lost myself, everytime i talk to her i give it a read and remember where I am and everything and really... I've thinking about not living anymore... just can't take it... so i was thining about writing an e-mail to her saying what the the letter I wrote says so I can stop this pain once and for all and know what she really feels... im scared though... i's quite normal to feel this way lately so I've got to nothing to lose (exept my own life which really means nothing to me anymore) so what do U say.. should I or should I not write her the e-mail... pls be quick to answer coz i'll be waiting right now..... thanks a lot... cya Link to comment
vitalcoaching Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 If you wrote it already, either give it to her or throw it away... Don't keep it. Link to comment
frday Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 It is never easy letting go but you must carry it on, or lose yourself in the pit of loneliness and doom. We all deserve to be happy. Give yourself a chance Link to comment
Aika Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 I still haven't sent her the letter or talked to her or anything.... i mean besides this morning when I saw her for about 5 minutes, i've only thought about her and gettin brave enough to tell her everything ... no matter what I HAVE to get her back.. as I said before I can't even think about living in this world without her.. by myself I'm nothing, I need her coz she's the only reason for my to keep going .... so I am still not ready I think... I just don't dare to say what I really want to say to her, and I get scared to think that when I get ready it may be too late.... the letter is still in my pocket and I still think writing the e-mail might be the best way to let her know all this... but i'm just not sure about her feelings, i'm really scared i might get turned down again.... Link to comment
JohnnyTable Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 In the state that you are in, I would consider professional therapy. I have gone through what you have, and I really wish that I had gotten some counceling at the time. This was the ex before my current ex. There is a stigma that therapy is for the weak. I would argue that it is for the people strong enough to seek it out! Link to comment
Aika Posted October 14, 2004 Author Share Posted October 14, 2004 well.... i thought things could't go worse than they were.... I was wrong yesterday I finally dared to tell her everything (on the phone though coz it's hard to see her in person with enough time) well.. I told her everything... but she still thinks the same way about it... said some things that really got to me and... I couldn't take it anymore.. hanged up and started drinkin.. (a lot) and suddenly, there I was destroying everything on sight teared my whole room down, broke windows .... etc mi mom and brother came to see what was happening and the saw me trying to kill myself with a tie.... they managed to stop me and when I got toghether I noticed my brother calling mi ex and saying all kinds of stuff to her... she hanged up... today I saw her again.. in person... she doesn't know what I did but she's mad about what my brother told her, told me that she doesn't wan to talk with me about getting back together ever again... coz I get mad and want to hear only what I want to hear (it is true... and I explained why is that before in this forum) and there is no reason for her to take all the things my brother told her (my brother was crying on the phone scared as hell while I still had a tie hanging on my neck) well... it sort of means there is no way i'll get her back now... she just doesn't care anymore and well.... now I don't know what the hell to do... I still feel the same way but now in a even worse situation...... Link to comment
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