Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 I have a two part question....I was hoping for the ladies perspective, altholugh anyone is more than welcome to answer.... (sorry about the length) ok, heres my story: I had this friend, lets call him Jack... I used to be one of his best friends, over at his house every weekend, hangin out etc. Jacks Sister....call her Olivia used to be around all the time, over time i started to like her..... (this started about 4-5 years ago) .... i was good friends with both of them until about 2 years ago, where we all kinda drifted apart, (I also heard through one of my friends that she didnt really like me, only as a friend....) all of a sudden Jack calls me and asks me to hang out, citing the fact that his sister had bullied him into it, she started talkin to me online again outa nowhere, like for hours, 2-5 hours on saturday nights, 1-3 hours on weekdays, we thougt each other funny etc. I then went to their house this past saturday night, we all watched a few movies etc. it was generally good fun, but olivia was acting a bit oddly, she jumped on info that i had a new cellphone quickly asking for my number, eventhough she then said it "woud be odd for her to call me" she also gave me her number....she even took a picture of herself with my phone to make it the background of the display..... So now i'm a little confused, she acted like she liked me, yet I know from before that she doenst? one of her friends said she might and this confuses me even more .... my mother even told me she liked me when I got home....but I cant quite believe it.... so what should I do? I almost want to ask her to hang out.... not even on a date, but I have no idea what to do. I can ask her n her brother to hang out no problem, but it would be odd for me to just ask her, I dont exactly want to freak her out. what would u guys reccommend? thank you so much for your help! -- Darknova. P.S. -- whenever we talk on the phone (like when i'm asking for her bro) shes really short, eventhough we talk alot online. I cant tell if she doenst want to talk to me, or if shes being shy, shes not rude, just really quiet and generally weird....like if i say "whatsup?" she says "huh...what?" etc. idk if that means anything .... just thought i'd mention it. Link to comment
DopeStar Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Call her up and ask to hang out like its no big deal. "Hey I'm headed the mall, you should come with me, I could use a female opinion" See it's that easy... The phone thing, maybe she doesn't like talking on the phone, it would be strange for a girl to not like the phone but you never know. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 i suppose your right man, the thing is i've known her brother for sooo long that just askin her to hangout feels like treason, that and I cant get over the feeling that she'd think i'm weird...idk y.... thats not normal is it? -- thanks for the help Darknova Link to comment
ayekasong Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 It sounds to me like she likes you. As for the phone thing, my boyfriend lives with a guy I'm pretty good friends with him. We have longer and more meaningful conversations online than we do in real life. It's not because I don't like him... it's just easier to talk to two people at once online. Really though, it probably is an issue with her not liking the phone. She seems pretty into you in real life. I certainly wouldn't make my picture someone's background on their cell phone unless it was my bf or someone I was seriously into. Good luck. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 the more I think about it, the more I think your right the only nagging concern I have is that she just wants to be a really good friend. I really dont want to push something that she wont like. -- I know this sounds incredibly paranoid, but i've had a few umm... really bad experiances over the last year, one left me depressed for 4 months.... i'm also really shy, so i kinda feel like exploding now thanks to everyone! -- Darknova Link to comment
DopeStar Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 the thing is i've known her brother for sooo long that just askin her to hangout feels like treason, that and I cant get over the feeling that she'd think i'm weird...idk y.... thats not normal is it? Whats weird about going to the mall? You said you could use the female opinion. See how I phrased that, nonchalant, and make it sound like her idea if you can, just talk about it like she invented the idea, this is your friends sister and that could get tricky if it went somewhere. If your not comfortable with it don't do it, otherwise go and have a good time. Who knows if she will even say yes, move one step at a time, wake up, shower, get dressed, call girl, get girls answer, Here is were your options split 1. go to mall with girl, shop, buy something, have lunch, shop somemore, if things are going well go to a movie or dinner 2. go to mall alone, shop, have lunch, shop somemore, hit on the girl in A&F, get her phone number, call her a week later to go for coffee. One step at a time, stop worrying about the future. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 good call good call.... i'm good at giving advice but horrible at following it i'm gunna try though.... thank you very much! is there anyway to gauge if she likes me at all? without having to go out there and ask directly? I want to try somehin regadless, but knowing where I stand would be nice -- darknova p.s. -- how would the girls out there feel? if you'd known a guy for a while, then he all of a sudden asked you out? (any guys who've experianced that?) Link to comment
DopeStar Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 is there anyway to gauge if she likes me at all? without having to go out there and ask directly? Invite her out again, if she goes the second time thats a good sign. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 *gulp* of course your right.... i can see that....i'm just scared as h*ll as I said before, i've had a couple bad experiances. and to be perfectly honest i've never managed to go out witha girl *alone* before (I know this sounds corny) especially since i'm 16, and it seems like everyone else has.... any ideas as to how to swallow my fear? my boss suggested but I think he was being a bit sarcastic..... my whole problem is (I suppose....i'm not a psychiatrist) that I have very little self-esteem at all.. I've had several very bad experiances and have no wish of repeating them.... Link to comment
DopeStar Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 i'm just scared as h*ll First off, the word Hell is not censored by this forum so you don't have to type it that way, I just learned this today so I felt the need to share. Secondly, Shut-up you whiney little wimp, pick up the phone and dial the 10 digits that she gave to you and tell her shes going to the mall with you. Act like a man you will feel like one, when you feel like one other people will see you as one and once your seen as a man people hold a higher level of respect for you. Stop being scared of something that she has practically told you wont happen and just do it, right now, go pick up the phone and dial her number don't wait, don't think about it, just go do it. The longer you wait the more time you have to put bad thoughts in your head. Seriously stop thinking and start acting you will naturally handle the situation once you stop over thinking it. OH and the shut-up thing it was just to make a point, try not to be offended. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 umm ok i like your style.... i will call her 2 things: 1. shes at school (i have the day off) so i'll call her when she gets home? fair enough? 2. whaadaya mean she told me it wouldent happen? - darknova Link to comment
DopeStar Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Stop being scared of something that she has practically told you wont happen and just do it, You said you were scared, the only thing to be scared of is being rejected right? Well all of her actions to this point out the fact that shes more then likely not going to reject you. Better? Shes at school, Does she have a cell phone? Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 yea she does, but i dont think she'd be impressed with me if i got her detention... i gotta thank you man, your the online version of a slap in the face, which i needed thanks again -- Darknova Link to comment
DopeStar Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 If you got her detention you would atleast be on her mind and that is not a bad thing no matter what the reason. 8) And the online slap in the face thing, Im might have to add that to my signature. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 even though I wont get her detention, i'll talk to her as soon as possible.... and i'll certainly let everyone know how it turns out... thanks for the verbal slapping -- darknova Link to comment
amerkraker Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 i dont want to interrupt your guys lil convo thing going on but yea dude just f**king call her she gave you her number and she acts all happy around you i didnt get that far with the girl i really like... so dude just go for it fast before she thinks you dont like her and she might move on... just call her wednesday after school Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 13, 2004 Author Share Posted October 13, 2004 suonds like a plan...... Link to comment
hmm...letmethinknow Posted October 14, 2004 Share Posted October 14, 2004 from her perspective: it's really quite a long time; certainly time enought to realise that you do actually like someone, even if initially there wasn't much happening. you spend alot of time online together. She's getting to know the real you, abd i think that she lokes you. (isn't this what you want?) Somtimes it is easier to get to know someone from a little distance (i.e.not in person). Perhaps she is also a little shy (she might be good at covering up her anxiety). in fact i'm guessing that she is a little anxious, given your description of the whole mobile phone picture/number incident. just give each other some space. Carry on talking online if that works. it seems quite a non-threatening way of expressing yourselves, and finding out about each other. perhaps invuter her and some other frinds around for a video. perhaps it could also be a chance to re-establish your frindship with her brother. i don't know...obviously you used to get along, so you have somethings in common. Link to comment
Darknova12 Posted October 14, 2004 Author Share Posted October 14, 2004 let me think: what do you mean 'it's really quite a long time; certainly time enought to realise that you do actually like someone, even if initially there wasn't much happening' ... you mean its been a long time since we've talked? thanks for the advice! Darknova Link to comment
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