mymelancholysoul Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 She's a broken record That repeats herself Over and over Day after day Though nobody knows She claims to be fine She laughs Smiles Grits her teeth And bares it Though nobody knows Cuts trace a map Of veins on her wrist They are the roads to recovery Paths of darker days Though nobody knows Bathing in silver moonlight With shadows on the wall She sits alone Thinking Weeping Trying to breathe Though nobody knows White tiled bathrooms Stained in crimson glow Are paintings of her pain Though nobody knows On the windowsill she sits With eyes open wide Legs dancing and crossing Swaying and swinging Hands rest on the lap And over she goes A smile on her face Though nobody knows When daylight doth break And the door creaks open They'll suddenly know That She repeated her words Faked a wide smile Traveled the map on her wrists Sat alone in the night And painted paintings Of her pain. Link to comment
Tinkerbell Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Beautifully written. Most of the time I'm not too found of poems based on the topic of suicide as they're just rather dark and gloomy without anything special to them, but your writing is definitely an exception. Keep up the good work. =D> Link to comment
EmptySoul Posted October 8, 2004 Share Posted October 8, 2004 Great job. Usually I try to pick out a part I like best, but I liked the whole thing. Empty Link to comment
neva_black_n_white Posted October 9, 2004 Share Posted October 9, 2004 wow that was an amazing poem, very well written and visual, i know i havent posted in here for a while. but i deffinitley miss the creativity of peoples minds, your talented and i like it. you have a lot of depth in your writing and i think your trying to put a message accross the ignorance of others and what they dont see whilst showing the pain of someone who is ignored, talent anyway, thanks for sharing it! kel Link to comment
i_hate_the_world47 Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 that was the best poem i have ever read.I related to it so well and the flow was incredible.You are going to be a great writer some day. ~Meagan~ Link to comment
under_the_pressure Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Amazing poem. Very, very good. I loved it. I hope to see more. under* Link to comment
ForAnother Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 I liked it alot. I think the title should be "Paintings of her Pain" or something of the sort. I love the idea of painting her pain... its really interesting. Very original, nice to see variety in talking upon the subject. Fun to read. Read it twice out of interest, very unlike most other poems I read. ForAnother Link to comment
behind_these_eyes Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 I dont really know what to say. that. was. incredible. Link to comment
nothingontheinside Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 wow that was... just plain amazing... one of the best things ive read about self injury... just wow... great job! =D> Link to comment
Gauchori Posted October 13, 2004 Share Posted October 13, 2004 One of the kind, nothing ever done like this considering the topic. Great! Link to comment
strawberry_gashes17 Posted October 15, 2004 Share Posted October 15, 2004 To My dearest Nikki, that was one of the best poems that u have written. i kno that i tell u that a lot but its tru. i wish that i could write the way that u do. its amazing how well u kno the feelings of certain people and what they do when they are alone. thank you so mush for all your poetry. you always kno how to make me feel better... even though this isnt a "happy" poem it still makes me feel better to kno that others feel the same way that i do. well thats all for this poem... on to the others that i havent red yet... Love always, Me Link to comment
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