Dealing with an addiction

[ayekasong]

Hey everyone, I posted a little earlier about a concern I was having with my boyfriend's gaming habit. I listened to your comments, and I did some research... his behavior borders on serious gaming addiction.

 

Some of you may laugh but this addiction is can become as serious as acoholism and drug abuse. I don't believe my bf is this bad but I don't want it to get to this point. It pulls someone out of reality, away from friends and family. Because of this addiction he rarely leaves his house. He doesn't get proper sleep and he doesn't eat well. He goes to class and work, but little else. I think he has neglected his studies because of it - and he's a senior in college.

 

In my other post I also talked about how it was interfering with my relationship. When I talk to him via AIM, his responses are delayed, sometimes he doesn't respond at all. I gave him a surprise call from Japan and he gave me an attitude because he was in the middle of his game. As I am an ocean away from him, this did not sit well with me.

 

This was happening prior to now, but I didn't confront him about it because I was pretty into gaming myself. Earlier today I tried to confront him about this problem and he just got all defensive and esentially saying "well you seem to know everything tell me what to do." I don't know what he should do, I've never had to recover from an addiction. All I know is that I'm tired of being second place to computer games. I play and have played them, they are great, but they don't compare to real life at all.

 

What do you suggest I do? I would prefer not to threaten him with a breakup because he just bought tickets to come see me this December... flying overseas is not cheap. If I had to carry out the threat... well it would be horribly messy and painful. I also don't know how willing I am to throw a relationship of 2 and half years out the window... especially over a game. Am I being too high strung? Should I just let him be? I'm at my wits end...

 

Thank you for reading this and for any advice you might give.

[abcd1234]

Being this distance away from him will make it hard for you to support him in getting over this but you are obviously willing to do it.

 

As you have said, to some people it may seem kinda silly but it is actually very serious! I have heard about people dropping out of school, skipping work and even dumping their parters just so they can play videogames all day!

 

What i suggest you do it try to get people around him (friends, family, colleagues etc.) to encourage him into doing other things, this may not be easy because i dont know if you are aquainted with many of them or have any way of contacting them. If you can then get his mates to take him out playing sports or his colleagues to get him to go for a drink after work. It is all just a way of keeping him from playing games and helps him to develop an interest in other things.

 

Talk to him as much as possible (on the phone, aim, letters and emails) and encourage him to go out or do something else for a change. I dont know, but maybe there are therapists who deal with this sort of thing.

 

Whatever you do, you cant just let him be. I say this because his gaming detracts from your relationship - he gets annoyed because you interrupt one of his games. You have every right to be annoyed and want to help him with this.

 

Good luck, i hope this help you out!

abcd1234

[red12]

Well I used to game for 18 to 20 hours a day when I was in school. And I would not say it was a addacation (SP?). But I knew it really was I just would tell my self no it wasnt. If he knows it is then he should probelly try doing something about it. If he cares about you then he will this is a good test for him to see if he really does care. I gamed for 7 years hardcore not as bad more toreds the end when I got p*ssed with game and stoped gaming. Now im meeting new people and trying to get a GF now. I just realized theirs more out their than just computer games.

[nexus532]

This may sound crazy but it could be the olny way for you to find out if he loves you more than his games. First keep doing as you did and confront him more and more, see if you can start to get through to him about his gameing problems. If it keeps to continue after that let him know that you are very upset that he is spending more time with his games than you. If this addiction still continues present him with a choice, tell him its either you or the games. This will be very hard for you to do but it may be nessecerry for you to to in order to find happiness. After all you don't want to go through you life feeling lonely because your boyfriend neglects you for his games. there are always more men that will give you the attention that you truly deserve.

 

remember if you are not happy with his actions now and he doesn't change you may never find happiness within him.