I'm such a noob

[KBlade]

Ok, there's this girl who i'm online friends with. We met thru playing an online computer game together, we talked and joked around a lot and got along really well. Its like we completely opened out to each other and now we have no secrets, I told her everything that has happened to me in my past and she has done the same. We have been hanging out together online since march this year, but a couple months ago I realised that I am in love wth her.

I thought it was stupid so I never said anything about it at first. Then we had an argument, about something that is really not important now, so we did not talk for like a week. So I did this dumb thing where I sent her an email saying how I feel completely honest about everything. About a week later we start talking again and she says that she missed me, I missed her, and we are like we were before. She has never mentioned that email I sent her and right now we are cool with each other like we always have been.

I don't know what to do, do I say nothing and just carry on being friends with her? do I bring it up in conversation casually or something? do I have a straight forward talk with her about it?

I don't want to pressure her either way, I honestly don't know how she feels, she could possibly feel the same but I dunno. She has been hurt a lot in the past and has problems in her life right now that are causing her stress and I don't want to add to it. She acts like she is strong and tough but she actually told me once that it was just a front she puts on, she is sensitive and vulnerable underneith it. I want to know how she feels but without pressuring her or freaking her out. I'm 100% sure that she has read the email so thats not an issue. I don't understand what me saying how I feel and her acting like it has not happened means basically.

 

Any advice or opinions are welcome

[AlleyCat]

The fact that she didn't talk to you for a week after you sent that email leads me to think that she either isn't interested in you in that way, or she just wasn't sure how to respond.

 

I think the best thing to do would be to get it out in the open, for your own peace of mind, maybe by just saying something like you would just like to know if she thinks it's possible that a relationship can grow from your friendship. Make sure you stress that her friendship is important to you, and you would just like to know how she feels, and you won't bother her about it again.

[KBlade]

okie...... I think I have f***ed up big here........

 

On monday I am at a concert and I start chatting to this girl I am sat next to who I have only just met right there and we get along really well. I'm sure she was interested in me (might have something to do with Sarah Mclachlan singing Arms of an Angel live . I left the concert hall saying good night to her and leaving her there and she caught me up like 200 meters down the road and we were walking through this street at night talking and she kept dropping hints that she wanted me to walk her home like saying how its not far away etc. She was really nice and fun and very good looking but all I could think about was this girl I know over the internet so I knew I had to talk to her. Me and this girl said bye to each other at a junction and that was it.

 

So I tell my internet friend that I love her and her response is " (not this forum smile but : -) without the space). Later I asked her if she felt the same and she said "I don't....." exactly like that. So I say I still want to be friends with her then I log out (I was a bit upset).

 

The next day she completely losses her temper over a really small and unimportant game thing and we are argueing big time and it ended with her saying "...well you can f*** right off this conversation is over".

 

 

Then the day after that (like 30 mins ago) I try to make up with her. I tell her stuff like how sorry I am and how I would do anything to make everything between us cool again and she tells me "leave me alone for now, I've had enough of this to last me a few days". So I just say "ok" and I log out.

 

I know that above sounds bad but I know what she is like so I am not worried about lossing her as a friend because I have no doubt that we can fix that. It's obvious she needs some space which I'm now giving her. She told me once about this guy she was with a few years ago who she loved but he broke up with her and thru some insurance thing took almost everything she owned. Because of that I can't help thinking that she might feel things for me but be afraid to trust me. I know that seems far-fetched maybe i'm just grasping at straws here.

 

Anyway what I am going to do now is give her space and after that I will make up with her as friends and leave it at that. She knows how I feel if she feels anything I guess she will bring it up in her own time.

 

If anyone has any thoughts I wanna hear them please

[Phil]

hmm, you asked if she had the same feelings of love and she said she didn't... did she ever tell you that she loved you? or have you ever seen/heard her through webcam or what not it could really be a dude on the other end... I dunno if it could've been a low blow to get into your game bank account * I had a girl do that to me on a game before* or if she never expected it to go so far and wanted it to end. I would say stay friends with her if your sure its a girl and leave it at that. maybe things might work out in the end.

 

hope that helped,

Phil

 

*btw... what computer game was this?*

[KBlade]

I know that she is who she says she is i've seen her on webcam and talked a little with some of her RL friends. She has never said she loves me but its like she hints at it a lot, maybe its my imagination perhaps.

 

We play several games mainly City of Heroes right now. The game is not even out in this country so I sent her the money to get me a copy and I also send her money for game cards (can't find them anywhere in UK) to the pay the monthly fee so its nothing like she is trying to steal from me.

[Phil]

I know that she is who she says she is i've seen her on webcam and talked a little with some of her RL friends. She has never said she loves me but its like she hints at it a lot, maybe its my imagination perhaps.

 

We play several games mainly City of Heroes right now. The game is not even out in this country so I sent her the money to get me a copy and I also send her money for game cards (can't find them anywhere in UK) to the pay the monthly fee so its nothing like she is trying to steal from me.

 

hmm, well maybe she does have feelings for you just is shy or has been hurt in the past, you've trusted her with money to get you a game so that you can play it and she sent you back the game, seems like she is honest.

 

so what i suggest, is just earn her trust over time, you said so yourself that shes been hurt in the past so just let her come to you. meet her half way in this relationship. she may also not be really comfortable meeting a guy over the internet, son't push her and the email you sent her. she probaby didn't know how to respond.

[KBlade]

We've made up now and are friends again. I don't want to screw up our friendship anymore than I already have so i'm going to leave it as is. She knows how I feel if she feels anything like the same I guess she will say something in time.

 

I'm so hopeing that she will

[KBlade]

I'm so confused here....

 

Ok this one night we were playing online together having a great time like we always do and she tells me that a few days ago this guy we know from another online game was hinting that he wanted to have Cybersex with her. I asked her if she did and she didn't and never has, neither have I. Then she starts asking me what it actually is, which was the last thing I expected her to say. I mean she has been playing online games a few years now the same as me and she told me that lots of guys try to with her (apparently girl gamers are popular) but she never has, I would have thought that she knew what it was.

 

Anyway myself being someone who is still holding onto that RL V-card I get incredibally nervous and start acting like i'm drunk when I havn't drunk anything (thats my weird thing I do when I get really nervous) but its not like she could see me at the time. So instead of telling her straight what I understood Cybersex to be I come out with this long winded analagy in which I mention every from Lord Of The Rings to DnD to Aeroplanes (dont ask) and at the end of it I have not actually said what it is and ended up confusing her and myself. Well it made her laugh, I think she knew that I was really shy at that moment which I have never been with her before.

 

Then after we stopped laughing at my 'explaination' I tell her what I thought it to be (I know what it is so I wont explain my exact words) and she smiled and said thats what she thought it to be. Then we were both about to log out for the night, it was pretty late and about the time that we normally stop playing. As we are saying good night to each other I say "I hope I did not make you uncomfortable or anything" her reply "not at all, I was just curious. *wink*"

 

basically I just got the hint that she maybe wanted to try it but I didn't think that until later that night after we had both logged off.

 

I know that my biggest problem with girls is the Paranoia that I might say or do something wrong that would make me look like a freak or that I may seem to forward, thinking that makes me get very nervous and self-conceious.

 

That was a couple days ago and I have seen her everyday since but its never been mentioned. I dunno what advice i'm looking for, I'm just ranting to myself really.