What should I do??

[KT7777]

well long story short,my ex wife mom is playing mind games with her.she is kinda the reason why we broke up and why we are not talking right now(even though we needed to stop talking so we both could heal).what should i do?should i reach out to my ex wife or keep NC(i really want her to contact me,i dont want no trouble!)? i really don't want to break NC,i don't want to start over with the healing.i'm worry that my step babygirl will think daddy stop loving her or i was lying about wanting to see her again.maybe its just my emotions again,it been 6 and half weeks since i talk to them(5 months since i last saw them).i just feel like i can do something about it

[Citlali]

She left over 5 months ago, didn't she? I think you need to work on not obsessing over her anymore. She's a grown woman. Maybe her mother does influence her, but don't try to give yourself hope by thinking that IF ONLY her mother had minded her own business, this wouldn't have happened. I know you're hurting, especially because you helped raise your step-daughter since she was a newborn, but you need to get counseling, throw out that box of baby toys and anything else your ex left behind, and start healing for real. You can't go your entire life hoping she'll come back and you'll be a family again. That's so unhealthy and counterproductive. You need to start operating on the assumption that she won't come back. What have you done since she left to heal and move on? Because from all of your posts it seems you have done nothing but obsess over her, think about her, build your hopes up, etc. You're hurting yourself, man. Just stop.

[FreeFallFeelin]

On my top ten list of 'Red Flags' is "Heavy influence from family". I've dealt with it in two different relationships, and it played negatively in both. If your spouse lets their family influence them, then they are effectively putting other relationships before yours. I know it's family, but a marriage is to start a new family with you two at the CENTER. All other relationships (blood included) take second place. That's how I see it now, anyway.

 

I think you have to continue to let her go my man. I know you miss your step-daughter, but it's no longer your place to be her caretaker. Hard, I know. And be prepared, because as time progresses without contact, it will get even harder for a period of time. You may want to get some therapy to help you navigate these challenging emotions. Therapists deal with this stuff every day, and will be able to help you stay on a healthy path to healing, which is where you need to be. Your ex has most likely moved on much faster.

[KT7777]

i know its like i'm on a rollercoaster at times with my emotions.i agree i need to get their stuff out of here,so i can finish healing.i been working on me since she left,i been working out and getting ready to go back to school.thanks for the advice!

[KT7777]

yeah its real hard right now,just trying to be strong about it.i been going to go out more,right now i need to focus on me(i need what makes me happy).. thank you for the advice!