against all odds (internet love)

[Innotech]

Name here is Jeff (21 years old). First and foremost I will tell the story of how I met Katie (19) online. This story is a bit lengthy because of my natural affinity to write essays when I post lol.

 

Always a lover of anime, I looked up "fanart" on google one day. Little did I know that would lead to this. Well I found a fanart website, and browsed it for a while and happaened accross their forum. Its home to so many great people, and the whole forum isl ike a family almost, but one girl stood out. I mean REALLY stood out. Well I started tlaking with her and she even tried to hook me up with someone else, though I found out that actually she really liked me and it actually hurt her to hook me up. thts just one example of how truly selfless and caring Katie is.

 

Well to make the story shorter, shes had several very crappy relationships in RL, one being a plain jerk, one wanting to get into her pants all the time (Im saving myself for marriage, and she is the same way). so after these 2 failed relationships, shes been left with a really scarred heart, and an actual fear of the word love. However I am pleased to say I earned her trust well enough that she has said she loves me numerous times. But this is very heartfelt love we feel for each other. In my case so much I can think of nothing more than how badly I want to take that trip. Now, The problem is, my father is against it.

 

First off, he thinks the whole relationship is impractical and a waste of time. Hes right about it being impractical, but the best htings in life are impractical. Im not interested in a relationship that is easy or practical. I just want ot be with Katie. Well my father is a perfectionist, and EVERYTHING has to be near perfect or perfect for him. Its driving me up a wall and Im htinking of moving out eventually anyway. Therein lies MY OWN problem. My father has called me a failure so many times I myself feel like I cant do anything, and it has really killed my self esteem and independence and confidence. I want to live up there with Katie, but my own dependent nature will make htis VERY difficult. However I am more than willing to take any job or opportunity I have to to make it work. On a good note, Katie is herself planning a road trip down here to meet me (shes in baltimore and commutes to Philly for college) and that will make this seem all the more possible.

 

ONe thing is for sure though. I am deeply dedicated to her, because this is the first time I have ever felt like this, and I dont EVER fall for anyone in this way. This feeling I have is that she is the one Ive been waiting for all these years. On the other side, she is also dedicated, and has told me so, and I believe that she will not stray. Firstly because I trust her, and secondly because shes been burned so many itmes by love its me or its no one.

 

Katie is a VERY hard worker. Poor girl even got a small ulcer because she stresses herself so much. She is on the path to a very good career, and she wants me to be there with her. She will actually pull some strings if I cant make it up there. So I am confident the relationship can hold out until we finally are together permanently, but this is my story and if any of you have any suggestions on how I could develop more confidence or any advice on how to deal with this, or just plain wish me luck, everything is greatly appreciated!

[SwingFox]

Jeff,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us with your message. I am glad that you and Katie are getting along so well. It pleases me that you care so deeply for each other. I think that's a good basis for more.

 

Internet relationships are pretty difficult. I can tell from experience, because I have gone through one, in which I have tried to hold on to for two years. Things will get a little more difficult later on, but you're both very committed to this thing and that sure is one of the BIG differences that I have had.

the girl of my dreams lives 1000 miles away.

Like thats going to stop me

 

I had to laugh at this. You say that you don't have much self esteem and/or confidence. Are you sure? After reading that signature I was like: "What is he talking about?" I think you're doing a GREAT job already and I would suggest that you keep that up. I understand that your father isn't really helpful and that you are planning to move out. Usually I would be very careful in advicing this, but I do want you to know this: you are 21 and I think you're ready to face the world and take up some of your own responsibility. I have a friend that has been married to a guy that has been controlled by his parents a lot. It just doesn't work. That's why I think that it might be a good idea to find your own way. May be talking to your dad about it will shed a different light on things for him, but the bottom line is that he has to give you control of your life OR you have to take it!

 

If you manage to do that, I am sure that you and Katie will make a good future. I wish you good luck with that and lots of strength to pull it through.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[Innotech]

thank you for the support.

 

One thing both of have is a very deep faith and trust in God. So I believe in my heart he iwll guide both of us to a happy life together.

I see you noticed my sig. It reminds me that even though I am not yet confident and independent, I WILL be at any cost. It is a reminder of what I need to do to make htis work.

oh, and about my father. recently Ive sort of started laughing when he yells at me about somehting,. Firstly it makes me feel better, secondly, its sort of me beginnig to take matters into my own hands. Ill take it a step at a time, but just questioning my fathers authority is already a huge step for me.God knows I love my dad but enough is enough, especially if it would ruin my chances with KAtie. Im just not going to stand for that anymore.

[cs20thcenturyfox]

Hey there Jeff,

 

I so know what your going through! I too have a internet love and we are separated by 3000 miles, of course my some of my friends think I'm a total idiot for taking this seriously, but I don't care. He too is going to take a road trip out here to see me, and I gotta tell you I can't wait! He's everything that my ex was not. In fact I too met him on a forum.....lol, it was something about his posts that got to me so I felt I had to talk to him one on one. Like your girl, he stood out...like really stood out...lol. So I do wish you the best of luck Jeff and know that you are not alone..ok?

[Daniel420]

hey jeff

Even i understand what your going through i met a girl over the internet and remain deeply devoted to her this day, She makes me feel happiness ive never felt before with any other woman, and i can tell you im still waiting for her. Ive talked to her for a year and a half now and our love only gets deeper and deeper. Even though we have out own relationships while we cant be with eachother (we are only 16 its hard not to have a relationship) but weve promised eachother that well always love eachother and that we plan to be together in the future for the rest of our lives. I suggest you stick with her, it does get difficult sometimes, but if she makes you feel the same way that my girl over the net makes me feel, then its worth the wait. good luck.... for the both of us.

Daniel

[Innotech]

I have to say, thus far, this relationship has been extremely successful. I feel like we both have a very deep understanding of each other, and what we want in htis relationship.

 

However a few htings are getting to me. Well if you recall she's been through several not so good relationships, and that left her really really untrusting of love itself. She truly does love me (trust me on that, though she doesnt say it directly because she doesnt trust the word itself, she has fallen hard), but she hates herself. She has a specific reason for this, something Id really rather not discuss. but wht is problematic about that is because she hates herself, she feels like she doesnt deserve me. Its good to know I am that special to her, but she is actually terrified that she will do osmething to make me leave her. I cant leave such a wonderful girl, there really is no reason that would make me. Unless she were to commit a felony or osmethingl ike murder, but Katie is christian and thts just not her. So there really isnt anything she can do to maek me leave her.

 

I am not looking for an easy relationship, htis has proven to be very difficult because of her stomach ulcer and her past. But Ill be damned if Im gonna give up just because its so hard. Thats just not me, and my love for her overpowers all cares for myself. Well thats the story htus far. Curently she is working towards a trip to meet me sometime htis year.