Snooty or ok to send as a response?

[fireside]

long story short, he realized that he didn't settle things with me before i went on vacation. so now he wants to talk and 'straighten' things out. I just don't feel like responding anymore. What if it's not what I want to hear from him?

 

Anway, note below:

 

 

i'm not ready to talk at the moment. your actions have spoken louder than your words anyway. but for whatever it is worth to you, it would be nice to hear what you have to straighten out. ping me in a couple of days if you think you need to talk.

 

 

Should i send this? or be the bigger person and just say, "I'm not ready to talk, maybe in a couple of day/weeks/months(/never).

[rebellefleur]

I would just send the latter message. The less you show you care, the more it will eat away at them. Your first message still makes you sound like you're hurt by something and care- which i'm sure you do, but you don't want to let them know that. I'm like you, i would want to send the emotionally charged message but i think you'll feel better if you send the second message...or better yet...no response at all?

[fireside]

the first message is definitely emotionally charged. it's what i feel at the moment. and yes i really care a lot. and i want him to know i'm hurt.

The second message is almost nonchalantly ignoring his request. meaning i really don't think it'll work out anyway. but why should i hide my feelings?

 

the less words the better?

[rebellefleur]

I would think. I know what is going through your mind, believe me. I'm so emotional and in the heat of the moment i'll spit everything out, i'll bare at all. But when it comes to men...or boys should i say, i feel like playing the role of the nonchalant-passive-almost cold woman makes more of an impact. I know with my ex, i used to send HUGE texts to him just pouring my heart out about whatever situation we were dealing with, i always put my heart out there and he would just shut off and ignore me. The short and cold texts, if any, were the ones that would get to him. But then again, a lot of texts would never really phase him, in the end i was always ignored and regretted telling my feelings at all.

 

You know what type of guy your guy is and what will most likely phase him- are you looking to get something out of him? Emotion back? A response?

 

Maybe combine the two messages: "i'm not ready to talk at the moment. your actions have spoken louder than your words anyway. Maybe in the future."

 

It is short, but lets him know you're hurt but not to an overly emotional extent. What about something like that?

[fireside]

Thanks for your feedback! I highly appreciate it, rebellefleur!

 

I'm trying to train myself to be rational and objective when the ball is in my court. Not that I'm playing games, but I have to be two steps ahead if I want something accomplished. My goal at the moment is to feel less sad.

 

I think I'd be the better person if I don't ambush the boy with emotions and stress them even more. They'll respond better with logical responses.

 

Even so, my initial reaction is to not respond at all. But will that conjure up thoughts that I'm playing games? I somehow just want to be left alone so I'm not back at square 1.