LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 4.5 months ago. She was getting close with a co-worker and is still with him to this day. I have been maintaining indifference and minimal contact. Last night she rings me up to help her move furniture, I was reluctant but she offered to buy me dinner and drinks. I obliged. By the end of the night we are back at here place having very crazy and very rough sex. I came out of it with a black eye and a gouged lip. The whole time she was begging me to "admit that I loved her" and kept asking why "I never loved her". I didn't give her any real response and just kept light conversation with her. While all of this was going down, her new boyfriend was texting her "Happy Valentine's Day!" messages. The next morning she tells me how horrible she feels for cheating on her boyfriend. She asks me why she did it. I tell her I don't know and eventually make my way home. I suspect this won't be the last I hear from her. Truthfully, I have no idea what to make of this girl anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Did you know she was still with the BF? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pippy longstocking Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 blimey last man ... that some jump from political debate ( no pun intended) I think I need to read it a few more times and just don't know what that is all about I am glad I was able to help how was it left between you ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WhenWillILove Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 What kind of sex are you two having...again? Sounds violent.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Did you know she was still with the BF? Yes, I'm not proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 What kind of sex are you two having...again? Sounds violent.... She instigated the whole thing by hitting me and demanding that I admit that I loved her. I refused to and it just escalated to sex from there. It was pretty intense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duke nukem Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Is she mentally stable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Is she mentally stable? Apparently not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AC Slater Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Hahahah that's amazing man. You should be shaking your head and laughing. This girl sounds like a headcase, sounds like she has some serious instability/emotional/abandonment issues. Truthfully, having someone demand to be told i love(d) them would be an insanely huge turn off and would just convince me she was a lunatic with some underlying self worth problems. I think you get your "revenge" so to speak. You're in the drivers seat now and will undoubtedly hear from her again very soon.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AC Slater Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 *you got your revenge sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Hahahah that's amazing man. You should be shaking your head and laughing. This girl sounds like a headcase, sounds like she has some serious instability/emotional/abandonment issues. Truthfully, having someone demand to be told i love(d) them would be an insanely huge turn off and would just convince me she was a lunatic with some underlying self worth problems. I think you get your "revenge" so to speak. You're in the drivers seat now and will undoubtedly hear from her again very soon.. I was certainly shaking my head in bewilderment on the drive home. Before I left, she kept implying that she was trying to wreck her relationship and that she was "depressed". I could tell she was trying to bait me into asking her back, which of course I didn't do. It's funny because I was really torn up and insecure over the break up. Now it's like in one night my whole frame has been reversed. I don't even care if she talks to me again, which I'm sure she will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loulou37 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 *you got your revenge sorry and what about the new guy!?!? i think this is awful!! knowing she was with someone new you should have never gone near her..... loulou x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Lastman, you want the righteous dude advice or the selfish dude advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stagn Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 you were clearly thinking with your other head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AC Slater Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 It's funny because I was really torn up and insecure over the break up. Now it's like in one night my whole frame has been reversed. I don't even care if she talks to me again, which I'm sure she will. Oh man i know this feeling so damn well, it's quite possibly one of the best states of mind to be in. I almost wish something like this would've happened to me just so i can get to that frame of mind, ha. Anyway, i guess you've experienced the 'rub', whereby the entire situation's been flipped, she wants you back and this in turn pushes you away. That's sort of a conclusion i'd say. You can do whatever you want. And loulou, i wasn't talking about the new guy, i mean LastMan, in a sense, got his own personal revenge on his ex. He saw her vulnerable and weak after such a long period of anguish on his part, and sometimes that's all it takes to put you into a better mindset. It sucks she cheated on her bf, but it's not LastMan's problem really. It's his life, and just speaks volumes about what kind of person this girl is if anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Lastman, you want the righteous dude advice or the selfish dude advice? Hit me with both so I can weigh my options. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loulou37 Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 And loulou, i wasn't talking about the new guy, i mean LastMan, in a sense, got his own personal revenge on his ex. He saw her vulnerable and weak after such a long period of anguish on his part, and sometimes that's all it takes to put you into a better mindset. It sucks she cheated on her bf, but it's not LastMan's problem really. It's his life, and just speaks volumes about what kind of person this girl is if anything. I know who you was talking about, 2 wrongs don't make a right!!...shows what sort of girl she is? lastman knew she was with someone else, he's not so innocent, you don't do to others what you wouldn't like done to yourself... loulou x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Alright. Righteous dude advice is a little messed up. You have two options with that. You can tell her that it was a mistake on both of your parts and she obviously has issues she needs to work on. You have residual feelings and were still attracted so your head was not clear, tell her that you want NC until the following happens, either she is single for X amount of time or a muuuuuch larger amount of time so you can both be moved on. This is also a powerplay on your part. Second righteous dude advice CONTROVERSIAL: is to tell her BF/tell her to tell him and admit it was a stupid mistake and that you had feelings + attraction and you and she ended up having sex. Tell him he deserves better and that you feel like a pile of crap. You then tell her that you told him and ask for NC for the same reasons. I would not do the second bit. I would probably do the first and tell her to tell him. I would also not have had sex with her but I have pride beyond measure so, don't take it the wrong way. Selfish dude advice: do nothing, start ignoring her and tell her if she gets crazy that you feel like crap because your residual feelings & attraction have resulted in her being unfaithful and hurting another dude and then you say, "A broken heart is one thing but a betrayed broken heart is worse. I have been trying to change. Last night was a mistake for both of us." ^^^^^^ Note being selfish here does not mean you are being malicious or pathetic etc. You just preserve your own feelings, pride etc. and get away from the volatile situation. If dude ever finds out, you tell the truth and tell him it was a dumb mistake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Alright. Righteous dude advice is a little messed up. You have two options with that. You can tell her that it was a mistake on both of your parts and she obviously has issues she needs to work on. You have residual feelings and were still attracted so your head was not clear, tell her that you want NC until the following happens, either she is single for X amount of time or a muuuuuch larger amount of time so you can both be moved on. This is also a powerplay on your part. This sounds like the best course of action. I don't want to confront the boyfriend because then it would appear as if I'm trying to break them up. If she wants to come clean with him, that's on her. I have a feeling their "relationship" won't last much longer anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 Flipside to the first bit of advice LM....is do you really want this type of broad back if she doesn't tell him? Also, it isn't confronting you are just doing a fellow dude a favor after you porked his GF in a moment of passion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Flipside to the first bit of advice LM....is do you really want this type of broad back if she doesn't tell him? Also, it isn't confronting you are just doing a fellow dude a favor after you porked his GF in a moment of passion. Damn, you are right...maybe I'll insist that SHE tells him. That way I can watch from the sidelines and anticipate her next move. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 I would go with what you just said...but on the real. You need to get away from this situation for a while, ok? You and she have something crazy going on that can blow up and get worse. Do the right thing now (which you must decide what you are ok with) and you can walk forward knowing you are not a stooge etc. Think about this...think about what you would think if you were sending Happy Valentines Day texts to your new GF and found out she was porking someone else right then and there. I only suggest this because you need to get your head clear and make the right decision for you. This is a tough situation and you did MESS up. But...you didn't go out of your way to do it. Personally, I changed my mind. I would tell dude and I would diss her for a while. She needs to get her head on straight. You do too bro. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pl3asehelp Posted February 14, 2012 Share Posted February 14, 2012 You're helping her to cheat on someone - WAY uncool and really selfish, so just stop it. Don't to it again. This girl is clearly really messed up in the head and you're not going to benefit in any way from having her in your life, so just cut her out. For real - the sooner you never talk to her again, the better your life will be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LastMan Posted February 14, 2012 Author Share Posted February 14, 2012 Again, right you are. I'm feeling a sense of dread already in regards to last night, and I need to remove myself entirely from this situation. I'm in response mode only, so if she hits me up I'll let her know where I stand. But in the meantime I'm gonna have to pull a vanishing act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EgoJoe Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 You're helping her to cheat on someone - WAY uncool and really selfish, so just stop it. Don't to it again. This girl is clearly really messed up in the head and you're not going to benefit in any way from having her in your life, so just cut her out. For real - the sooner you never talk to her again, the better your life will be. I agree with you, but, Lastman is the type of dude who needed a little help getting his mind right to make the best decision. I have faith in him. You should have seen his first angry stage post about Women. Look at how when given the right info and options, he considers other dude, himself etc. and is now making the right move FOR HIM. LM: If/When she hits you up, tell her that if she doesn't tell him, you will (she will tell him so this is a bluff) and that you are not that kind of dude. Tell her that you want to be a man of integrity and you are not going any further down this rabbit hole than you made the mistake of doing already. Also, bro, I believe that you're a righteous dude who made a mistake. Now, rectify it and keep moving forward. Also, sick sense of satisfaction, look at how crazy your animal attraction was with her. She a wreck these days, but...when you hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up. So, maybe this all happened for the "best" and this guy is 4.5 months in so he won't be shattered. But, you're going to go back through the stages of grief again. Albeit a little faster. You have got to heal from this broad though dude, don't compromise your character for a woman, EVER. I know your backstory and all that. But, you tried to change, admitted the truth etc. Don't beat yourself up about this, PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES in the heat of the moment. You're a good dude deep down and you just need to remember to take a step back and use your brain. Also for the women who said he was thinking with his other head. Recent studies have shown that sexual attraction and decisions are made in the brain, the penis affect is just a reaction. LM, very brave of you to post here and possibly get flamed etc. and I'm proud of you for coming to the conclusion to do the right thing on your own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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