Help with asking this guy out

[Elisian]

There's this guy I think is cute that lives in my building, but I need some advice on how to ask him out. I'm an RA and pretty close with the other RA's that work in my building so I've told them about this, and one of them hangs out with him and I've told him too to see if at some point we could hang out or something, but so far nothing has worked (plus his friend is the type of guy that doesn't get subtlety, lol).

 

Anyway, I can tell this guy finds me attractive (as I do him) because for one, when I work at the front desk I will look up from my work to see him staring at me and we will hold eye contact. And another time I was at a dance in the lobby that we put on and I was having a lot of fun dancing with some friends and I look up to see him literally frozen at the foot of the stars watching me and when I caught him he kind of jumped and walked on.

 

Today I went out to the lobby to give my friend something and as we were talking I looked up to see him staring at me from accross the room while his friends were engaged in a conversation. There was only one time that I caught him by himself about to key into his hallway as I was heading for the stairs and you could feel the tension between us as I passed him, and I regret not having taken the opportunity to have said something, like hi or anything, haha.

 

So that's the background info. Maybe you can help me come up with something that sounds natural in case I should run into him by himself again. Thanks!

[lukeb]

Yes saying hi would be a good start.

[Elisian]

Um... thanks.

 

I guess I forgot to mention I have talked to him before and I know his name, so its not like we are total strangers.

 

I'm really hoping for more help here though, I'm pretty clueless when it comes to cold approaches (or at least so far they've been unsuccessful).

[TwilightLurker]

You say that you've talked to him before... do you know if the two of you share any common interests? If yes, then you could approach him with a topic already in mind that you know he'd be interested in talking about, and depending on the topic, that would open the door to possibly spending some time together, and from there, a friendship may form depending on whether the two of you "click".

 

If you don't know what he's interested in, then the next time there's an event in your building or around campus, how about approaching him and telling him about it? Then just add something like, "hope to see ya there" and if he shows up, come up to him and say, "glad you could make it. How's it going?". If he says that he won't be there, maybe see if you can keep the conversation going a bit by commenting on why he isn't going to come (if he gives one).

 

You can be as direct or indirect as you feel comfortable being. I think though I should caution you to not to go into this believing that this guy finds you attractive. You don't want to get your hopes so high up when you know so very little about him. Just because you see/think he's staring at you, doesn't mean he's doing so because he's gay/bi and into you, and just because you think tension exists between the two of you, doesn't mean it's sexual tension. You should keep this all in perspective in order to protect your emotional health.

[Elisian]

Thanks twilightlurker those are some good ideas in the first part and the last part was really insightful.

 

Yeah he long-boards and I bike and I've been really wanting to learn how to long-board so maybe that might work.

 

And you're right, I really should be more careful to keep everything in perspective. I guess when you have so little to go off of you tend to magnify the little things to make up for the lack of information, you make a good point about assuming too much.

 

Thanks again.