ex has been rebounded but now hes in a "supposed" serious relationship?!?!

[kyoko07]

My ex bf of 4 years broke up with me 2 months ago bcuz he was tired of me shutting him out wen he was trying to help me. Also i guess bcuz i was negative all the time contributed to it.

 

Anyway after the breakup he gave off a demeanor that suggested that he was a-ok with life and with the breakup. He defriended me off fb and even though we did go out a few times, he was distant and a bit cold. One night wen i went over the his place with a few frends to watch a movie everything went to hell as he told me up front he didnt want to be with me but he still cared about me.

 

i broke up down, there was drama etc etc and after that night (october 7th) we have not talked to each other since. 2 weeks ago on his FB he posted that he has a new girlfriend. I couldnt help thinking that the time we spent 2gthr meant nothing and he culd jst fall out of love that fast. Anway from oct7th leading to now, he was making out with his close female friend (rebounding) and he told this frend (lets call her Miss R) that what they have been doing has to stop because he has developed feelings for the now current girflriend (lets call her Miss G).

 

I dont kno if this relationship with Miss G is genuine or not bcuz considering the circumstances in which it came abt i cant help but think its another rebound. He said he liked her and everything but... it hurts to kno hes found sum1 else already.

 

When we were 2gthr things were gr8. i mean he always wanted me around him, txted me alot, came to pick me up after work and everything. And now its gone from this to him being with sum1 else.

 

Can any1 give me their opinion and advice on this matter? Is it a rebound? Dw i have been using this time to focus on myself, improving myself, keeping myself busy etc etc. I have not put my life on hold to wait for him but i do want him back.

[guynextdoor]

May I ask why you are so concerned with his life and not your own? According to your post you have some of your own issues to work on. Let him do his thing and go NC. Time to focus on yourself.

[kyoko07]

I am working on my own issues. I've started exercising, eating right, catching up with all the frends ive neglected wen i was with him, and trying out new activities. Yea i get wot ur saying but atm i am doing my best not think abt wot hes doing but its proving more difficult than i thought.

 

I am letting him do his own thing and we havnt had any contact at all since Oct. 7th. Actually im proud that i didnt jump on the phone and call him wen i found out he had a new gf since it took alot of self control.

[kyoko07]

Btw christian bale was pretty awesome in American psycho love the book too xD anyway back on topic...

[guynextdoor]

2 things Kyoko can you type normally and not text type? No offense its a little difficult to read.. So what you are telling me is that you want him back right? You can't show weakness first of all. If he is dating around and you choose to remain contact then you are taking a chance of getting hurt. If he still cares about you and notices your improvements then you might have a shot at him, see what I'm saying? We like to see improvements, not a temporary fix.

[kyoko07]

After the breakup I did show weakness by initiating contact with him, asking him out, and pretty much just asking him if I could tag along wherever he went... yea big mistake i know now that im looking back on it. My ex and I were on and off during our time together and whenever we broke up it was initiated by him because of how i responded when he tried to help me (shutting him down when he offerend my advice and help).

 

This time hes convinced that I wont change thats why he said he doesnt want to be with me. It doesnt make sense in a way how hes in a relationship already. I mean he hurt his close friend by rebounding on her and now this new girlfriend... it seems out of character for him since i've known him for so long.

 

He has a tendency to put on an act that hes fine and dandy when in fact hes not. The fact that he rebounded proved that to me because on FB his comments always showed how happy he was. The close friend told me that he kept talking about me, how disappointed he was that we werent talking, and pretty much he drunk alone quite often. So whenever he posts happy comments on FB, im having trouble believing whether its genuine or not.