i really want to text her.

[RobD70]

it has come to that thor, it been 3 days nc and will not reach out to her no matter what.

she said a lot and its was all true.

"i need a man that will hold it down, i confident man, you are not the man i thought you were, you fooled me,"

is that mean??? i dont know, but it do know i wantnst that toward the end.

 

it hurts big time. and plus i have to see her. its wacked. i want her to see a strong man in me even if she never wants to date again. not a shell.

 

Prove her wrong by showing you don't need her and find someone else. Get angry at the situation if you have to. Acting sad and pathetic is a HUGE turnoff, you have to act like (and believe) that you just don't care anymore. Never put a relationship above yourself.

 

Look, you are young and odds are you will have another half dozen of so girlfriends in the next several years. This is a learning experience, try not to make the same mistakes next time on the next girl.

 

She also sounds like a * * * * * * , that was kinda mean of her to say. If a chic said that to me I'd tell her to GTFO then. I don't handle disrespect well.

[mahipahl]

I was in a similar situation. The advice here is correct, one clue that you reached an all-time low in the dumpers eyes is the passive aggressive responses, demeaning responses, etc. and the dumper will never respect you again even if you do get back together. Go NC, actually you will thank them later for being so cruel, they saved you from yourself. Be honest, you probably would have continued throwing your dignity and self-respect out the window if they gave you breadcrumbs. For those just beginning, take the advice the folks here have given, suck it up, go home and cry, but don't ever let them see you do it. And if you are still confused...DON'T CONTACT THEM...FOR ANY REASON.

[HopeArises]

WOW...EVERYONE'S reply to this guy is SOOOOOOOO negative. There is NO HOPE, so why even bother, right? WRONG. Again, when you don't have success in your own situation it seems like you CRUSH the one's who MIGHT have a fighting change with their ex. Unbelievable.

[skippy10]

I agree. so much negativity. Misery loves company!! It has been nearly 3 years for me, but as long as I am alive there is a chance.

[HopeArises]

I was in a similar situation. The advice here is correct, one clue that you reached an all-time low in the dumpers eyes is the passive aggressive responses, demeaning responses, etc. and the dumper will never respect you again even if you do get back together. Go NC, actually you will thank them later for being so cruel, they saved you from yourself. Be honest, you probably would have continued throwing your dignity and self-respect out the window if they gave you breadcrumbs. For those just beginning, take the advice the folks here have given, suck it up, go home and cry, but don't ever let them see you do it. And if you are still confused...DON'T CONTACT THEM...FOR ANY REASON.

 

So, do you know this from your own personal experience that the ex will NEVER respect you if you get back together? I guess both my sister who is MARRIED to her HUSBAND who left her 10 years ago doesn't have his respect right, or my best friend who is now married to a woman who LEFT him, to come back years later? I guess when my ex broke up with me and came back a few months later, she didn't respect me at all, right?

 

NO, not everyone's advice on here is right. Most people who post on here ARE/WERE the DUMPEE'S and have NOT had success. Does that mean there are those that DO have success? ABSOLUTELY, however they don't post on here once successful. In fact, in the real world, it's usually people who don't know WHAT TO DO after being dumped that come on here. Many people don't need to rely on these boards. They KNOW what to do in the real world.

 

In life you should NEVER lose sight of your DREAMS/GOALS. ALWAYS be positive and confident. This is how you ALL GOT YOUR EX in the first place. For the most part, it's a self-defeating attitude that drove them away. By staying in the frustrated and negative mindset, you will NEVER achieve. You will NEVER have a shot at it. People are drawn towards positive and optimistic people who exude passion, confidence and direction.

 

EVERYONE, if you have HEALED and are CONFIDENT, there is NOTHING wrong with contacting your ex. NOTHING and I stand by that and to those who tell me and others otherwise, that's fine, but that's been YOUR reality. It doesn't mean it's been everyone's. People get back together ALL THE TIME. ALL THE TIME... They are just not on this site... FACT.

[LastMan]

Marriage does not equal respect.

[skippy10]

"Hope", you are exactly right!! Hope, you give me hope!! For me, and my ex we have not been with anyone since we split and it has been nearly 3 years. We're both good people and the situation just got carried away. I even got an X-mas card from her parents. Nothing from her but there is always time for healing and understanding!!.

[HopeArises]

Marriage does not equal respect.

 

......................

[Cowboy1015]

100% agree with you.

 

And like you, I've seen a couple of posters here who's very discouraging to the idea of getting back with an ex. For them, the dumper should be the one getting back with you.. which in most case will not happen.

 

That's why you guys need to be careful following the suggestions of some people here. But, I think at the end of the day, you'll do what you think you got to do because you know better... and whatever you do is the reflection of who you are.

[mahipahl]

People reconcile all the time. But when someone tells you it's over you should respect that decision. To continue to pursue someone in the hopes of reconciliation when they have made it clear they are done is unhealthy behavior. People get back together but the bottom line is the person who left has to want to come back, trying to change someone's mind about spending time with you is selfish.

[TomboyMS]

People reconcile all the time. But when someone tells you it's over you should respect that decision. To continue to pursue someone in the hopes of reconciliation when they have made it clear they are done is unhealthy behavior. People get back together but the bottom line is the person who left has to want to come back, trying to change someone's mind about spending time with you is selfish.

 

Yep. Both people have to want to get back together and even then it's hard. Manipulating other people into doing what YOU want is wrong and usually backfires in the end. I try not to eff with karma like that, but to each his/her own.