im so lost..

[luvsomeone333]

im so scared, i hate change.... i hate my life, what is wrong with me i dont know what to do with my life. nothing feels secure, nothing feels right. i cant even think that my family being there is enough closure for me because i feel more alone than ever, they re always working and im left to find my own family... but even then i cant even get close because they re not family, i cant always relay on them, time is changing and everyone is moving on and finding their own path so why cant i find a goal? why cant i ever feel secure ? i know im still young, heck im only 19 but i just feel as though i should know what i should be doing...but i find myself still feeling incomplete, sure im going to be busy in the next couple of weeks but for the quite period right now, im sad... everything is changing..my team is splinting up, my friends are moving away to do their own study and jobs, boyfriend, girlfriend...and what do i have? nothing but meaningless sex with guys and i cant stop thinking about my ex...im so jealous of everyone s family and goals...i dont even have a goal cause i dont know what i want..? what the hell am i suppose to do with my life? time is ticking but i dont know what to do with myself.. i should have a job or something...some meaning in my life but right now i dont feel a thing, i dont have a purpose so what am i suppose to do with my life? my relationship failed was partly because of this, i dont know what i want..i dont know who i am...how can i be happy because i cant remember the last time where i was truly happy with my life without the moment disappearing ...

 

please help me ..

[Raaawr]

Hi there. First of all you are not alone in this. I have felt like this nearly everyday for the last 6 or 7 years.

 

im so scared, i hate change.... i hate my life, what is wrong with me i dont know what to do with my life. nothing feels secure, nothing feels right.

 

When you say nothing? What does this nothing encompass?

 

I cant even think that my family being there is enough closure for me because i feel more alone than ever, they re always working and im left to find my own family..

.

 

have you tried reaching out to them? Its possible they dont even realise how you are feeling, not because they dont care but because you havent expressed it.

 

but even then i cant even get close because they re not family, i cant always relay on them, time is changing and everyone is moving on and finding their own path so why cant i find a goal? why cant i ever feel secure ?

 

This is normal. Not everyone has a direct path in life. Hell, 5 years ago I wanted to be an animator but realised that was a horrible choice after a year and gave it up. Now Im stuck where I dont know what I want. Its hard to know what you want, civilization demands that we have answers when we leave school but we have barely even experienced life yet so how can we possibly know?

 

i know im still young, heck im only 19 but i just feel as though i should know what i should be doing...but i find myself still feeling incomplete, sure im going to be busy in the next couple of weeks but for the quite period right now, im sad...

You shouldnt. Im 23 and I havent a clue what Im doing. 5 out of my 6 friends all switched courses before they completed their chosen paths before they hit 22. What are you going to be busy with?

 

everything is changing..my team is splinting up, my friends are moving away to do their own study and jobs, boyfriend, girlfriend...

This is the natural progression of things I am afraid. It doesnt mean they are leaving you.

 

and what do i have? nothing but meaningless sex with guys and i cant stop thinking about my ex

This meaningless sex needs to stop. It has very damaging effects on your self esteem and emotions. Focus on the bad things in the relationship, youll probably find its better you parted ways anyway.

 

...im so jealous of everyone s family and goals...i dont even have a goal cause i dont know what i want..? what the hell am i suppose to do with my life? time is ticking but i dont know what to do with myself..

Time is in no way ticking. You are 19. Average life expectancy for women is about 80? You not even half way yet! You probably haven't met your best best friend yet. you certainly havent met the love of your life. You are still so young and theres still so much left to experience to help your decide a path. Dont stress about it.

 

i should have a job or something...some meaning in my life but right now i dont feel a thing, i dont have a purpose so what am i suppose to do with my life?

Are you interested in music or painting? Maybe try learn an instrument? Im sure there are many things you havent yet tried.

 

my relationship failed was partly because of this, i dont know what i want..i dont know who i am...

Again, you are still so young. At 19 barely anyone knows who they are.

 

how can i be happy because i cant remember the last time where i was truly happy with my life without the moment disappearing ...

Honestly I am in the exact same boat.

 

please help me .

Ill try