asthesparrow Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 so i recently stopped seeing someone i had been with for over a year. to be honest i knew it was going to be hard but i didn't know it would be this painful... i've deleted over a year of e-mails and text messages and every photo of us together, deleted his phone number... i find the more i try to disconnect from him, the more there actually IS to disconnect from. old memories coming up each time... when we first met, his charm at the very start, how slow we took it and it was really a perfect relationship in terms of my history with men and all the bad luck i've had. do you find yourself constantly reaffirming that this person, or this relationship is merely just a drop in the ocean? just a year of your life, just one relationship of many... that it shouldn't have such weight, shouldn't be such a bother when there will be so many more triumphs (and equal heartbreaks)? i feel that it's the only thing really helping me. Link to comment
bob333 Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Yes, its difficult to lie to yourself and say that person wasn't any good for you, but their actions back that up, they left you as they thought you weren't any good for them, its a right conundrum. I've learnt the best is to have hard firm NC - and let it all become a memory, that way they no longer will be praying on your mind. Link to comment
loveis Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Yes so tough...... I think whats keeping me going right now is the fact that his actions have shown his lack of love, honor and respect for me. 2.5 yrs took 10days to hook up with someone else. Why bother to waste time over someone who shows so little. I have to return home nxt week and face all his belongings... NC is the best I think too-it's rocky but if they miss you or feel for you they will make contact. I've blocked on facebook and skype but not on yahoo and he appears online everyday but doesn't reach out-probably a case of I feel guilty and want to be seen as to be here for you yet doesn't instigate. I should probably delete on yahoo too then eh? Not quite ready yet.... Link to comment
loveis Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 I guess some people can move on so much quicker and walk away alot easier. Less emotionally involved..Sending you hugs. Link to comment
asthesparrow Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 Yes so tough...... I think whats keeping me going right now is the fact that his actions have shown his lack of love, honor and respect for me. 2.5 yrs took 10days to hook up with someone else. Why bother to waste time over someone who shows so little. I have to return home nxt week and face all his belongings... NC is the best I think too-it's rocky but if they miss you or feel for you they will make contact. I've blocked on facebook and skype but not on yahoo and he appears online everyday but doesn't reach out-probably a case of I feel guilty and want to be seen as to be here for you yet doesn't instigate. I should probably delete on yahoo too then eh? Not quite ready yet.... Sorry for what you're going through... I wouldn't bare to stand hearing about him with other women. Eh. I know what you mean. I've been strict NC since last saturday when I broke up with him... Still haven't deleted him from facebook. Maybe I won't. He's online every time I am online, and I always want to say something. But, why waste all that time I've spent in NC healing.... At least we know it'll only get better from here, anyway. hugs Link to comment
loveis Posted November 27, 2011 Share Posted November 27, 2011 Well I didn't delete on fbook but restricted... I found out last sunday... I woke up this morning with so much anger... I wish it would all just go away... time feels like it moves so slowly. I find myself even feeling kinda reassured that he appears online-he doesn't communicate with others so I know it's for me....pathetic really. Thank you for responding so fast. I really need to talk to someone this morning. Could I be addicted to him? Why am I even checking to see if he's online and constantly checking my emails. Don't make contact tho...you ended it right? So it wasn't feeling right for you, you may only get their hopes up. Link to comment
asthesparrow Posted November 27, 2011 Author Share Posted November 27, 2011 Well I didn't delete on fbook but restricted... I found out last sunday... I woke up this morning with so much anger... I wish it would all just go away... time feels like it moves so slowly. I find myself even feeling kinda reassured that he appears online-he doesn't communicate with others so I know it's for me....pathetic really. Thank you for responding so fast. I really need to talk to someone this morning. Could I be addicted to him? Why am I even checking to see if he's online and constantly checking my emails. Don't make contact tho...you ended it right? So it wasn't feeling right for you, you may only get their hopes up. I think you need to delete him then. If you are online every day, and still see him online and it pains you, you should delete him. I know I should delete my ex from facebook but I really do not want him to feel as if there is any bad air there. It was a really pleasant break up. Probably the only decent one I will ever experience! I have him on facebook, but have him in a separate list so I can't see him online. He still "likes" a lot of my posts etc. I think the hardest part was deleting his phone number, but it has helped me as I have gone to call him a few times but alas... Hahaha! Link to comment
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