Have I already pushed him away?

[SnNap]

I met this guy a little over a month ago. I haven't had a relationship or dated anyone for about a year and a half before him. I have been hurt tremendously by all men in my life especially my first serious relationship and my father. I don't open myself up to any man because of my fear of being hurt. It is easier for me to just ask like i don't care instead of putting myself out there and opening up. When we first met everything was really great. We would talk all the time and hang out a few times a week. I have been really interested in him and haven't had any desire to date anyone else casually. We have hit this point where either we are going to start dating exclusively or not. The only problem is i can't bring myself to tell him how i really feel. We were together last week and he told me he would never know how i felt if i don't tell him and i just kind of brushed it off and changed the subject. Ever since then things have been weird. We still talk but definitely not as much. We haven't really seen much of each other and whenever i say i want to see him he is always busy.

 

I can't help but to blame myself now for not letting him know how i truly feel about him. I am sure he, like most people, does not want to be hurt either and it's too risky for him to put himself out there to me because of my issues so now he is just avoiding the situation. I need some advice because i really don't know what to do. I want to tell him how i really feel now because i don't want to lose him and not have him in my life but i'm afraid it's too late and it won't make a difference either way. Please help

[John3572]

It's very possible that you have pushed him away. Your fear of being hurt does not give you the right to emotionally deprive someone else. Your situation happened to me and since that relationship I have been emotionally guarded. I have pushed great women away because I was protecting myself. When you won't open up you are not protecting yourself. You are hurting yourself by now allowing someone in to enjoy the benefits of a deep emotional connection with a person you care about. The end result will always be pushing that person away and you lose.

 

Everyone has been hurt. The pain of being hurt chances the way that we approach friendships and relationships. I have decided for myself that I will not let another woman get close to me until I am healed and can offer her something besides being a emotionally on-guard all the time. That said, I will not be pursing relationships or dating until I am fixed. If all I have to give is bits of a heart than I'd rather not give anything.

 

If you care about him enough not to lose him, open up and tell him how you feel now. Don't wait until it's too late. By the time he washes his hands with you, you won't be given that chance.