chados Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 NC for 2 weeks and very low contact 2 weeks. she's been initiating contact 2 times through sms, she has been really curious about my life both times. after 1 month i called her she was working, she texted me, what did you want when you called? i asked her if she had 2 minutes. and she instantly called me up. I asked her if she wanted to grab a coffee, she accepted without any doubts from what i could hear, she actually sounded happy when we talked, she laughed when i laughed the phonecall couldn't have gone any better. even though i know this isn't the end i cant help getting my hopes up. whats your opinion of this? is this just a girls way to be overly nice or does she miss me? Link to comment
Awoken Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I think it would help if you gave us a little background on your relationship? Link to comment
Furbys Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Yes don't get your hopes up, she could just be in contact to only be friends. Just accept in your mind that this could go wrong but if it doesn't then great. Also it hasn't been long NC or LC so don't get any hopes up. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 did you make plans yet? there's really no way to know what is going on in her head, especially since you contacted her and initiated the meeting. but play it cool, stay in control of your emotions and see how it goes. keep your expectations low. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 long story, but no cheating no fights. she just felt that i lost interest for her. but the reason for that was that i thought she wasn't attracted to me anymore. so instead of telling me, she just wanted me change. but without knowing its hard. preety drastic brakeup. and i know she loved me. she never loved anyone as she loved me. i think that made me to comfortable. i know what the problem is and i dont have to change myself to fix them. i also wanna say that she's been very curious about me. and i cut the conversations short. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 did you make plans yet? there's really no way to know what is going on in her head, especially since you contacted her and initiated the meeting. but play it cool, stay in control of your emotions and see how it goes. keep your expectations low. just a coffee, she agreed without any questions, she sounded really happy talking to me. i didn't even recognize her. it just felt so easy talking to her. Link to comment
AngelAmber Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 it does sound like she misses u, she wouldnt have called u so quickly, and didnt have to sound so happy so good luck and hope it goes well sounds positive to me Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 it does sound like she misses u, she wouldnt have called u so quickly, and didnt have to sound so happy so good luck and hope it goes well sounds positive to me hope so, thanks i've never experienced a girl doing this before, well not when they dumped you, Link to comment
vel2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 hope so, thanks i've never experienced a girl doing this before, well not when they dumped you, My ex did the same... called me afte 1 week, 2 weeks, one month, suggested lunch after a few months. Missing you doesn;t mean they want you back... my advice is expect nothing, then you can't be disappointed. Link to comment
nestorZ Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Take the advice these people give you, don't get your hopes up. She may be missing you, but that doesn't mean she wants to get back together. Be upbeat, happy and show yourself in a good light. No drama or relationship talk, unless she brings it up. Just keep it cool and see what she's all about. Post here after and I'm sure you'll get great insight on the situation, guys on ENA helped me understand my ex much better than I did before. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 just a coffee, she agreed without any questions, she sounded really happy talking to me. i didn't even recognize her. it just felt so easy talking to her. no, i meant specific plans to get the coffee. i couldnt tell from your OP if she agreed to the vague idea of getting a coffee or if you setup the actual meetup. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 no, i meant specific plans to get the coffee. i couldnt tell from your OP if she agreed to the vague idea of getting a coffee or if you setup the actual meetup. well she had work but agreed for a cup another day, sounded very positive Link to comment
loulou37 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 My ex was the same, really happy when we talked on the phone, all sweet, having a joke n a laugh with me, we met up for coffee, it was soo nice to see him, i felt all relaxed with him like when we were together, he was even reminising!! At the end of the meet up i asked if we could work things out....BIG MISTAKE!!! read it all wrong, he said he loved me but it wouldn't work...BAM!!! back to square 1, devastated!! Just be careful yea. loulou x Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 My ex was the same, really happy when we talked on the phone, all sweet, having a joke n a laugh with me, we met up for coffee, it was soo nice to see him, i felt all relaxed with him like when we were together, he was even reminising!! At the end of the meet up i asked if we could work things out....BIG MISTAKE!!! read it all wrong, he said he loved me but it wouldn't work...BAM!!! back to square 1, devastated!! Just be careful yea. loulou x thanks im going to take it slow.. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 let me try explain how the contact has been like. i told her im fine with the breakup 2 days after it happened, i wasnt acting sad or anything when she told me. she texted me 2 weeks after NC and i replied a few messages where she was very curious about everything in my life. i cut the conversation kinda quick. i texted her a few days later asking how she was, not much more before i ended the conversation and said i have to go now. then she contacts me the next week, i didn't feel like responding, but after 3 hours i did. she asked me a lot of things, but i didn't ask her about anything so we stopped texting. then about one week after that i called her "she was working" and didnt answer and asked me via text "what did you want? i asked if she had 2 minutes and she instantly called me up, and well you can see my first post, she was acting happy, and her voice was strong, normally i got problems to hear what she says in the phone. i mean she sounds kinda boring in the phone, "not her fault" , and god forgive me for saying this. she sounded like a new person so i was acting kinda cold. what do you give from this? Link to comment
nestorZ Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I think you've been handling this perfectly so far. Interested but not over-excited, just the way you should act. Keep that up and see what happens. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I think don't assume anything until you actually meet in person. Since you were the one to reach out to her and you asked her to coffee, she might still flake, especially since you don't have firm plans yet. Just try not to have any expectations of meeting yet, sometimes people flake at this stage and I'd hate for you to get hurt. I really do hope the meetup happens though! Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 I think you've been handling this perfectly so far. Interested but not over-excited, just the way you should act. Keep that up and see what happens. thanks man im just out of ideas. should i be the man and ask her out after a week. or should i leave it to her? Link to comment
nestorZ Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Be cool, let her make the moves at the moment... If she's interested, she'll pursue you. If she acts very passive, then she's probably flake and doesn't want anything serious. Lay back and see how she acts. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 hey whats "flakes"? you mean like acting insecure/not to interested/she will feel weird when we meet up? Link to comment
nestorZ Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 An unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through. My ex was flake. She seemed super interested but started coming up with excuses at the last moment and really confused both me and her. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 An unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through. My ex was flake. She seemed super interested but started coming up with excuses at the last moment and really confused both me and her. ah. nah i dont think she would do that. lets say i would ask her next friday, and she would say yes , would that be a great sign or should i still be worried that its just friendship?, i mean of course there will always be doubts but, if she dont hesitate. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 ah. nah i dont think she would do that. lets say i would ask her next friday, and she would say yes , would that be a great sign or should i still be worried that its just friendship?, i mean of course there will always be doubts but, if she dont hesitate. No way to tell whether she'd be open to getting back together until you meet up with her in person and talk. It's a total gamble. Link to comment
chados Posted November 21, 2011 Author Share Posted November 21, 2011 No way to tell whether she'd be open to getting back together until you meet up with her in person and talk. It's a total gamble. guess your right, but i dont think she would say, lets get back together, any signs i should look for while on the meetup? Link to comment
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