Help need made a big mistake!

[tonyuk001]

Here goes!

I’ve just made a big mistake and have broken up with my girlfriend, and need advice. Where to start with this story?

I guess a little background first. I’ve have always been a bit of a stress head and when I’m stress I close up and tend to walk around very moody and don’t tell people what’s going on. I leant many years ago to control it, and not me. I was in a relationship that went very bad and this had an impact on me, by bringing back my stress, I ended that relationship and without even noticing my best friend and I fell in love, she has a fantastic little girl and we get on great. I know in my heart that the both of us were meant to be together, we are very different people, but I think that brings more to this relationship. But after a while my stress started to interfere with our relationship and we split up, but ended up back together, its strange I have say that I have found my soul mate!!

 

As time went on, my stress levels increased and I became snappy at work and got to the point where I admitted to myself that I could not deal with this on my own, so I started seeing a councilor. But as I was embassed that I could not deal with this on my own and did not tell my girlfriend! Anyway this week I had a relapse and got really stressed this time and just closed up on everyone, I could see this was upsetting my girlfriend so I decided to tell her that I was receiving counseling and that I want to deal with this issue so I can be a better person for me and for her as I want to have a life with her, but before I got to say anything she ended it!! And now I just feel like I’m at my lowest. She thinks that I get stressed because of her and that is not the case the only part that made me relax and forget about the stress was spending time with her and her daughter. Im heartbroken and do not know what to do. I keep think what would have happen if I would have told her sooner?. I just do not know what to do?

[winniethepooh]

I’ve just made a big mistake and have broken up with my girlfriend,

Why was it a mistake?

 

but before I got to say anything she ended it!!

Ok, I'm a little confused. Did you leave her or did she leave you?

 

But as I was embassed that I could not deal with this on my own and did not tell my girlfriend!

Ok, that was probably a mistake. I think you should involve your partner with important things in your life. Then again, another perspective is that she might see your counseling sessions as a sign of weakness, and find you less attractive as a result. But anyway, in the end you did tell her, so now you and her have to deal with that. She already has, by leaving you.

 

But after a while my stress started to interfere with our relationship and we split up, but ended up back together, its strange I have say that I have found my soul mate!!

Why is it strange to say that? Does/did she think she had found her soulmate in you?

 

I could see this was upsetting my girlfriend so I decided to tell her that I was receiving counseling and that I want to deal with this issue so I can be a better person for me and for her as I want to have a life with her,

That sounds to me like a good idea. So why didn't you get the outcome you wanted?

 

She thinks that I get stressed because of her

Why does she think that?

 

and that is not the case the only part that made me relax and forget about the stress was spending time with her and her daughter.

Is there a way to give her this information without stressing her? Write a letter? Of course, a downside is that she might feel responsible for your happiness, and that could stress her as a result. Complicated

 

Im heartbroken and do not know what to do.

Make sure she has all relevant information. Her decision to leave you might have just been an impulsive emotional reaction, and maybe she is rethinking things at present. But if you have stressed her to the point where she reacted like this, then you have to be very careful how you proceed from here. Assume anything you do will stress her more and take time to think about how to act in a way that reduces her stress rather than increases it.

 

I keep think what would have happen if I would have told her sooner?

Yes, that sounds normal. But you didn't, and you can't change the timing now. You did tell her in the end, it was a shock, maybe take a day or two at least (or more) to let her absorb that and consider communicating with her again then, but very carefully.

[EgoJoe]

I don't think it's a good idea to reach out to her after a few days or period. Let her reach out to you. Keep going to counselling for your stress. If nothing else, show her your strength.