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Okay. I'm done trying to fit in. I'm wierd, I'm different...EFF it.


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Anyone else feel like this?


I have been trying to fit in all my life and after my recent layoff (highlighted by a string of very public, perceived failures) I feel like I am just done. I mean, seriously, how long can someone go on bashing their head against a wall? Apparently quite a long time, before realizing...wow, I'm really sick of doing that.


The extremely frustrating thing is that I actually do very good work and have a lot to offer. But I just seem to be missing something in terms of social interaction, and I end up taking a slow (unintentional) kamikaze dive into public humiliation. Okay...I'm probably exaggerating a little. But seriously, only a little.


I have tried all kinds of counseling, for YEARS. I've read a few books. So it's not that I haven't given it a damn good shot.


Where I'm at now...is...EFF it. I'm done trying to be someone I'm not. Apparently I am 'different', and in a way that to many, is not a 'good' different. WHATEVER.


Thankfully, I have a couple freelance clients and (even more key) a stellar husband who can carry most of the load for a little while. My hope is that I can build something more authentic and rewarding out of this mess. Hoping my freelance clients will build into a biz that actually makes money. Or sh*t, I'll get a part-time job somewhere where the stakes aren't as high as where I've been.


Has anyone been here? Any thoughts, advice?


I mean, this is my plan. But sometimes, lately, I lie awake at night crying and/or feeling so angry. I guess that's why I'm here.

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What can I say... See my sig.


Seriously though, I worry that I don't seem to fit in anywhere but its more on a personal than a professional level with me.

I just seem unable to comunicate effectively in social situations.

Luckily for me, I don't have the same problem at work.


Sorry, not really advice, just a bit of empathy

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You have my empathy. Being this way affected my career when I was young, in that I never got into a graduate position. It's very difficult being different and not fitting in. It can make one tend to feel angry and bitter sometimes. Some books like 'The Introvert Advantage' and 'Party of One' can make one feel better about being this way. It's just sometimes hard being in a minority in the world. On the other hand, I find a lot of satisfaction in being the way I am. I only really want to fit in when it suits me, and the rest of the time I'm happier being on the outer. I hope you can builld up your freelance business. All the best.

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Listen, Mizzan, you are only as weird as you want to be. I don't think you are weird based on what you have written. If you are really really really really think you are weird, why don't you come up with a couple of examples?


Very few books can actually help you change, they can inspire, but never really change you. You have to do it yourself. You say that you tried, why don't you tell us what you have actually tried? And why you think you failed?



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Thanks guys,


you know...I realize reading these responses that what I was really after was a little encouragement that I'm not crazy to stop trying to change myself into something I'm not. So, thank you for providing that. I think that's all I needed to hear.


Solidarity, fellow 'different' people! : ) Thank you.

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Nothing wrong with being seen as weird in my opinion. The world relies on people who see things differently, and in the UK we tend to look fondly on our glorious eccentrics.


I read a book by Alain de Botton, "Status Anxiety" which discusses the historical and philosophical aspects around social status and fitting in and discusses ways that people have resisted this. While not really a self help book, you may find its insights useful.


Remember that historically some of our greatest thought, art and insight has come from people who could not or refused to fit in with the status quo - thus creating new communities, behaviours and movements - notable examples being the Stoicists, Skeptics, French Revolutionaries, Dada, Bohemianism, Hippy, Punk and modern day Frugal and Thrifty living movements.

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