Benji22 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 So, I’ve been thinking… I am a pretty jelouse person as soon as I am romanticly affiliated with somebody! it has been an issue in me for everybody that I’ve really had feelings for with the exeption of my first girlfriend, who cheated (maybe something to do with it?) I’ve come to the conclusion that it was a contributing factor in the end of the majority of my relationships, not that they wouldn’t have ended had this not been the case. Anyway, with this realisation that I am a jelouse individual.. I decided.. I just dont want to be! Of course, the feelings that I still AM still linger.. because its true. How do I overcome jelousy? Ive utilized the wonder that is google.. and found nothing but books about the subject that I am not willing to buy. So, Ive come here… Ideas? Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I would seek professional help. It's not that you have a mental problem, but a counselor can help teach you mechanisms to control your emotions. Link to comment
Moneypenny Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Jealousy is an irrational state of mind, and trying to rationalise feelings of jealousy is near impossible, without taking the time and effort to look deep within yourself; i.e, your insecurities, fears, and not being comfortable with who you are. To overcome jealousy you need to become aware that not everything is within your control; i.e. peoples actions, and cheating, etc If someone is going to cheat, they'll cheat, and there isn't anything you can do about it; except of course to try and develop a healthy relationship. Jealousy is not a good foundation, and it will wreak havoc with your relationships and drive partners away very quickly as being on the receiving end of jealous behaviour is extremely unpleasant. I'm not sure I understand why you're not willing to buy books on the subject - are you put off by self-help books generally; or is it that you don't want to be seen to have an issue or problem? There's no harm in admitting that you have a problem with jealousy. However, it's probably unlikely that it'll go away on it's own, or that you'll just grow out of it. Counselling, self-help books, and things like meditation are all ways to stamp out the jealousy monster, but you have to be prepared to face your 'self'. Link to comment
Benji22 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 I asked this question on more than one site, they all said get some help XD. Therapy shall be my route. I am opposed to books because they cost money! I'm putting myself through school right now and need my money for food! Also, I'm not going on medication. its a moral objection. I'm confident that all I really need is somebody to guide my thought process as to not let me get too lost in myself. Link to comment
Moneypenny Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Good on you for making the decision. Therapy will definitely help. By the way, I said mediTation - not medication...lol Good luck. Link to comment
Benji22 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Whoa! Hey, thats good advice! Thanks Deep down.. I was kinda thinking "get on some pills? yeah.. thatll help" Link to comment
drummergirl Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Here's a few links to some different articles online that might be helpful to you: link removed link removed link removed I especially liked these two. They ask a lot of questions about it and I think taking some time to really examine what you're jealous about and why will let you better deal with it. link removed link removed Jealousy is a pretty general topic. Can you tell us more about what specifically you get jealous about? What are the specific things you worry about? Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 I asked this question on more than one site, they all said get some help XD. Therapy shall be my route. I am opposed to books because they cost money! I'm putting myself through school right now and need my money for food! Also, I'm not going on medication. its a moral objection. I'm confident that all I really need is somebody to guide my thought process as to not let me get too lost in myself. Therapy will likely cost more than the books, but having another opinion, and someone to guide you will beat any money-grabbing self-help book any day. Link to comment
Benji22 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 I am the type of person who worrys whenever my partner has decided to go out to a party.. or hangs out with a friend she has a past with, or go's traveling without me. When they come home I approach my partner with a question like "Sweetheart, is there anything I should know?"... Usualy in the beginning this is treated quite lightly. However, over time... it seems to become a huge, destructive annoyance. Link to comment
Benji22 Posted November 8, 2011 Author Share Posted November 8, 2011 Therapy will likely cost more than the books, but having another opinion, and someone to guide you will beat any money-grabbing self-help book any day. Community services offers free therapy in my town because we have such a huge mental health problem here. Its a definate plus side to the location I'm living in. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted November 8, 2011 Share Posted November 8, 2011 Community services offers free therapy in my town because we have such a huge mental health problem here. Its a definate plus side to the location I'm living in. That's awsome! In my area, there's a university with a large psychology graduate program. They offer heavily discounted counseling as a means for their students to get their hours in. A definite plus. Link to comment
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