How to deal with girl you love being your friend... advice??

[Marty66]

I broke up with my ex over whats coming up to a year now and i still deeply love her. My Problem is that she is also my bestfriend and i still feel as bad as ever that we cant be together. Im still thankful that shes in my life but i feel i can't move on, any relationships i could of had since have come to nothing and i feel no ones ever gonna match up to what we had together. Shes the only girl that ever truly cared for me and said those three words. i feel at a lost....any advice on how to deal with this?

[puppylove89]

Why did you break up with her?

[TheLizard134]

More story needed!

[Marty66]

She said she couldnt trust me anymore, i used to go out with my friends clubbing a lot and she suspected me of cheating one of the nights i went out. I never did cheat on her and since then she said that she overreacted at the time. I always thought that we would get back together but since then lots has changed, she seeing someone else now so chances are we never will. We've never lost contact though, we always text an talk when we can. I always want her in my life because i love her so much but i cant help feel like its stopping me from getting over her and moving on. I wish it was as simple as not talking and being apart but i feel guilty if i try and Beak contact because i said i would always be her friend.

[robk]

I know a lot of people always say that an ex is an ex for a reason. Personally though I think staying friends is a good idea. OK it might take a while, 3 months, 6 months even a year but eventually you'll find that friendship. I wouldn't break contact completely, but I'd let her initiate things and see how you feel. I'm in a similar position. With someone for seven years and now we're trying to work out how we're going to build a friendship. We've been split up 6 weeks and I was supposed to meet her for lunch today, but she cancelled because she wasn't ready. To be honest I wasn't really but I wanted to see her so much. We've agreed to take things slowly and maybe meet up sometime over the Christmas holidays and take it from there.

[Vince99]

You should absolutely NOT be friends with this person. There is such an unbelievably small chance of it working out in the long run. In MOST cases (not all), men and women should not be friends anyway, but especially if they were once involved. I know everyone wishes it could be puppy dogs and rainbows all the time, but it isn't. Believe me, you will be saving yourself a lot of grief and stress. Just because she's the only one who HAS cared for you doesn't mean she's the only one who ever will.

[Cognitive_Canine]

You should never be friends with a person you have romantic feelings for.

 

Take a break from each other for a few months, try seeing other people, and try to branch out to new people. Maybe in a few months your feelings for her will fade and you can see if you actually be platonic friends. But, for now, you need to heal and staying around her is just torturing yourself.