I need an answer quick...Please help me!

[kauaiangirl83]

As some of you know, my bf and i were just recently in a tough spot these past few days. i've learned to just be quiet and not force the issue on him when he gets mad and needs his space, but he still hasn't really opened up. *sigh* I guess i can't do anything about that. Anyways, I've started to let go and he's calling me more and things are looking up.

 

My problem is that on Tuesday everything was peachy and he wanted me to give my 2 weeks notice at my job so that i could move to the mainland with him. Then yesterday (Thurs.) he tells me that we have stuff to work out and that he doesn't think that we're ready to be together yet because we're always fighting about the same stuff blah blah blah. That really hurt a lot because i'm anxious to leave home. Then today when things are getting slowly better, he tells me to put in my 2 weeks notice.

 

 

I'm not sure what to do. i want to be with him and move up there, but i'm not sure if we're ready. i don't want to burst his bubble by bringing up crap when I've tried so hard to let it go which could cause another argument. I know that he needs me up there both for financial reasons (I gotta get a job to pay the rent) and emotional ones.

 

Should I give my 2 weeks notice soon?

 

Thanks for you help in advance.

[johnec]

be careful, sounds like his hand could grow exponentially stronger by your "two weeks notice". the only way people can become dependent on others is to be able to be independent without them. how deep is his level of commitment? the only way i'd pick up and move so far away is if my spouse was being relocated. be wise and think things through completely. you could wake up homeless.

[tough_girl]

Well, I don't really understand your reason to leave your house. What I can see here are danger lights flashing here. If you two are constantly fighting over the same thing, I don't really think both of you are ready to move in together.

 

I notice from your narration that you seem to be the party giving more than receiving. You do not want to question him about your problems for you fear of evoking his wrath. Is this not what you are compromising?

 

All I can say is that you should talk to him first. Like you've said, he needs you financially and emotionally. I do hope he is not taking advantage of you. Until you are sure that he cares about you as much as you do, I suppose it's better for you to stay put in wherever you are.