Back on the dating Scene... Ugh Someone kill me....

[purpletulip]

Ok so I've been single for 5 months now. I come from a violent relationship (feel free to look at my previous posts) I'm finding it extremely hard to let anyone get close to me or even let someone take me on a date. I not all men are the same and I dont mean to be so cautious but I cannot help it. I dont know what to do or how to start moving forward. I am so scared to be alone with a man that I'm worried it will effect me long term and I will be single forever...

[Furtive]

I'm all against stereotyping off the bat, but would it help for you to not date men that look at all like your previous partner? (In your situation it may help.)

 

If he had dark hair, look for a man with light hair, if he had blue eyes, look for a man with brown eyes, any little thing may help.

 

However, I think you'll want some professional help to ease you back into it. I don't know how they work, but look for support groups out of women's shelters, I know my cousin runs one but I've never asked her about it.

 

Maybe find a very effeminate guy to date, or one that's in no shape to ever be able to do what your ex did.

 

I wish I could help, I really do. If it's for a piece of mind, always carry with you something for defense that you never tell them about. Pepper spray, knife, (and if you can handle the responsibility and obtain it legally, perhaps a handgun).

 

Take baby steps. You're good to be cautious.

[Polis]

I'm definitely no expert on this and haven't been in such a relationship but if I were you I would do something to empower myself. Like Furtive said, carry a defensive weapon to feel safe or other options such as a self defense class, counseling, or meet a guy when you are out with a group of friends and date in highly public places.

 

Just my two cents. I noticed when I had issues with my self-esteem I worked hard on myself and gained tons of confidence, mainly through excercise though.