Survey: Live with/broken up with your cohabitating SO?

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

Anyone ever break up after moving in with someone?

If so how long did you live together?

What do you think broke you up? Did moving in together accelerate it or have anything to do with your breakup?

 

If you're currently living with someone. How long have you lived together? Did he/have you popped the question yet?

[Zipp]

We lived together for almost a year, and continue to do so. We broke up because he wasn't really ready to be in a relationship although moving in was his idea. Yes I think moving in made his problems with commitment more obvious. He cheated on me right before we broke up, if he cheated before we moved in I wouldn't know because we weren't toegether everyday. We were not engaged but had definitely talked about marriage in the future.

[shes2smart]

I have lived with 3 different bf's since I was 21. When I left the 3rd one, I swore I'd never live with a guy I wasn't married to again.

 

First one was my College Boyfriend I dated him for 2 yrs., lived with him for 5 yrs. We parted amicably, and after about a year of NC were able to become friends. He is the only ex I keep in touch with.

 

Second one was The Alcoholic. Started dating him and the next thing I knew his butt had taken root on my couch. Dated him for 2 or 3 months, then he just never went home. We lived together for about a year, then spent the next several years (no kidding) being on and off, which is a long, sad tale in and of itself.

 

Third one was The Old Man. 18 years older than me, made big money, owned his own house, and decided I needed to move in after we'd been dating for 6 months (even though he wasn't sure he wanted to be in a monogamous relationship). Blinded by the bling, I stupidly moved in. I left a year later when I couldn't take his "constantly on the look-out for someone better" attitude and his ever-growing lack of attention. Choosing to focus on the positive, I did get my car and credit card paid off during that time and saved a nice amount. He insisted on paying for just about everything. I left that relationship in much better financial shape than when I got into it, although that was never my intention.

 

Finally we come to my husband. We moved in together 6 months before we got married. Difference was, he proposed months before he moved in and there were definite wedding plans in place before he moved in.

 

After going through those experiences, I'd caution other women about moving in with their bf. Granted, I made some poor choices in terms of guys I was involved with and that could have something to do with it. However, unless you're with some hyper-enlightened, sensitive, New-Age Guy type (bah!) chances are good that you will get stuck with most of the drudge work of the household -- cleaning, laundry, cooking. Also, for as progressive as we think we are, there's still a good portion of society that will look down on you if you're living with a bf. It's subtle, but it's there. Particularly if you are living with a bf and have no definite plans to marry.

 

If I had it to do over again, I would've skipped living with The Alcoholic and The Old Man, and just lived on my own til the husband-material showed up. On the whole, if you live with your bf, you'll wind up with a lot of drudge work and B.S. of being married without a lot of the benefits.

 

My 2 cents

~s2s

[OceanEyes]

I lived with my ex-boyfriend of 2 years for about 1.5 years. Things moved fast, but I really don't think that was what broke us up. In fact, I didn't mind living with him at all and loved his company every day. We discussed marriage only briefly, when he told me that he could see himself marrying me. However, I didn't agree. We broke up because I came to find him lazy, boring, and completely inable to communicate. At the time we moved in together, I was 21.

 

I've lived with my current boyfriend for about 6 months, and we've been dating for about 14. The circumstances for us moving in together were kind of forced. Before I moved in with him, I lived with a roommate who ended up stiffing me with a lease that still had 8 months on it. I pretty much had nowhere to go, and since I live in a city where I have no family, he asked me to move in with him. Things were rocky in the beginning, but they've been amazing lately. I don't see the end in sight at all, although we have our problems.

 

We have joked about marriage, but neither of us are in a big hurry to make that step. He's still in school and I have yet to get back and finally finish off my degree. I think it's an unspoken thing that we are both financially ready before we even think of discussing an engagement, and marriage. Last night I told him that I didn't want to settle down in this city (it's French-speaking and I'm not), and that I'd like to settle down on the west coast. He told me that he would follow me wherever it's English-speaking. He's also made comments when looking at jewellery catalogues that he's going to buy me a ring when he can afford it. I am hopeful, but I also will not stake the rest of my life on playful comments and wishful thinking.

 

Things can change fast, especially when you have not established your life and accomplished your goals yet. I would love nothing more than to have my boyfriend ask me to marry him, and could happily live with an engagement ring on my finger for years without a wedding, but it's also not that important. What is important to me is that I have an amazing boyfriend who I love more and more every day, and who feels the exact same way.

[the_tiger_striped_cat]

anymore responses, I'm very curious