No Contact Works....for the other guy

[king-of-fools]

I was introduced to this website about three weeks ago by a new friend. Let me tell you what happened. I was away at a gathering that my ex-girlfriend was also at, and seeing her there got me quite upset. A couple of guys tried to comfort me , both were going through simaler things. One of the guys was telling me that the best thing to do was have absolutly no contact. He talked about how great it had been for him, how it had really helped him. I had known for a long time that this was what I wanted to do, and had to do, but had been denying it because our lives were so intertwined. It would mean missing out on a lot of events with my friends and changing my job somewhat, but when he talked about it, he was saying all the exact things that I already knew and hearing another person say it gave me the resolve to finally do it. No matter what the cost to my other friendships I would end my friendship with her. My new friend sent me the e-mail links to this site and some of his thoughts about why I should stay away from her and again, reading other peoples thoughts really did help me. So it's been almost a month, I saw her last week at a concert and all was friendly, I didn't really feel any urge to give up the no contact. He was at the concert too and I chatted with him about how great I felt. We talked about hanging out some time when we could talk about both our experiances more in depth. Well, tonight I find out that he is now sleeping with her. No Contact worked all right!! It worked to get me out of the way so that he could be with my ex.

[Just A Teen]

Dude,

I dont know how to say im sorry because thats really low on your "friends" part...well dude to know that your "friend" and your ex would do something like that then you should know that you shouldnt be with your ex...it was good it wouldnt have been much longer till they were sleeping together when you guys had been together..or maybe they were...what i would do is have no contact with either of them....Forget them, anyone that low does not deserve to be friends with good people like you..... You were hurt from a women and you decided the best way to get rid of it was not talk to her, and having your "friend" support that was help to you and then you were just backstabbed anyway.....So yes show him what no contact really is about...And i wouldnt take either of them back as a friend.

[TrueHeart]

Thats really great that you've been able to rise above all that you've been through. I'm sure you didn't take it lightly, but you dealt with it in a mature attitude. I've always believed in the code of never to date a friend of an ex... Too messy.

 

I am sorry that you've lost a lot of friendships because of 1 or 2 people, but doesn't that make you somewhat happy to also lose those people?? I mean, atleast NOW you know what value they put on your friendship.. You don't need people so wishy-washy in your life, its a good thing your rid of them.

 

I just hope that you stay on this course of self-healing. In the end, you'll be the only one left standing and laughing..

[king-of-fools]

Thanks guys,

 

Maybe I should clarify a few things about my post though. First of all it's been 14 months since my break with my ex, so it's not that recent. The new "friend" is someone new in both of our lives though.

 

Secondly I wasn't saying that I was losing any of my friends due to no contact. Just that I would have to miss certain social events, like sports that my ex and I played together, and would thereforeeee not see some of my friends at these times.