When to break NO CONTACT?

[herewegoagain]

It's been over a month of NC with my ex g/f. Except a couple of weeks ago, we emailed each other to make arrangements for her to pick up some of her things from my house (I made sure I wasn't there when she came over).

 

Anyway, she broke up with me and is now seeing someone else. I've actually seen them out a couple of times, but didn't say a word and just kept cool. I still care for her, and I know she is going through a "weird" time in her life. Her sister told me the other day that she is acting very strange lately. It's almost as if she is going through a mid-life crisis at the age of 28!

 

My question is, how can I let her know that I still care for her without being pushy? I know most of you will say to leave her alone, but i just want her to know that I have no hard feelings, and I am here for her if she needs me. I also want her to know that I would be willing to try to work things out with her someday if she wants to.

 

I think that she may feel like I would never take her back because she moved on so quick, etc, but I would. I know that's stupid, but I still WOULD.

 

i know that goes against all the "strategies" of NC, and it will make me seem weak, needy, etc. But I just want her to know how i feel. After I let her know how I feel, then I will be able to move on with my life whether she decides to come back or not.

 

I've read a lot of posts that say how one's ex is still in contact (email, phone, etc) but I'm not so lucky - I've had basically no contact.

 

Any suggestions?

[hockeyboy]

try calling her. dont push anything..just make small talk and ask her how she has been. thats your first step. you cant rush into anything. make sure you end the conversation and tell her to give you a call later if she wants...and go from there

[herewegoagain]

thanks hockeyboy - will an email be a little easier for the both of us? Or do you think a call would be better?

[hockeyboy]

i would call her..its more personal and means more. you can tell her you care about her without direcctly professing your love for her, you know what i mean?

[herewegoagain]

yeah, i know what you mean. It's more personal. As long as i keep my cool, which I know I can, it will be fine.

[hockeyboy]

ya...do that whenever your planning on and then pm me if you want and let me know how it went

[anon728]

It's only been a month...I would wait a little longer. She probably knows that you would take her back (not sure how you guys broke up). Let her fly solo with this new guy for a while longer. The new realtionship is still in the 'honeymoon' phase, and you can't compete with that. I'm in a similar situation, and have similar thoughts, but figure 'hey, I'm giving her what she asked for, which was a break.'

[hockeyboy]

what would be best is if you could bump into her somewhere and strike up a friendly conversation..i dont know if thats possible or not

[herewegoagain]

good point, anon. Is your ex with someone else, too? Or does she just need time away?

[anon728]

She's with someone else...pretty much jumped right from me to him. It's been about 2.5 months since the break-up, and about 7 weeks since NC (she's emailed me about 6 times, and I have always responded, but I have not initiated any contact since NC).

 

Seriously, use this time to better yourself. Workout, take up a new hobby, reconnect with some old friends, learn to live with yourself.

 

In my case, our relationship had been rocky towards the end, and I still think about her constantly, but I am out doing new things, and not staying at home. I figure, it would be better to run into her, or perhaps 'reconnect' after 3 or 4 months, as opposed to 7 or 8 weeks.

[anon728]

herewegoagain, to clarify, it started as a 'break' because we were not getting along, but it quickly became a 'break-up.'