Keeping Your cool or Not keeping your cool

[Edge_of_6_feet]

Today my boyfriend of nearly 7 months broke up with me. We've known eachother for going on 3 years and were bestfriends before we ever committed to a relationship. Let me just explain how or why we broke up:

 

I was on the internet checking my e-mail when I see him sign on and I was thinking yay, my baby is on...i can ask him to come over to get the photo I drew of him...but all of a sudden I send a hello and I'm told that I'm talking to his 15 year old girlfriend from Alabama. I was like So he wound up getting on later and I confronted him about it and asked if he was dating a girl from Alabama and if he was to let me go so I didn't have to endure the pain any longer He said he didn't know they were dating and it was hard having a long distance relationship with me...(we live about 20 miles from eachother) he said he liked her and didn't know that liking someone was considered cheating. I told him I never said that it was and that I just wanted to know if he was dating her. He said he didn't know he was..I had to leave to go to work and he e-mailed me saying that he didn't want to be with anyone at this point in his life and told me i could e-mail him back telling him to f*** off because he deserved it. I e-mailed him back but I told him that i'd never tell him to f*** off because I care for him and no matter what i'll always have a place in my heart for him.

 

I just want to know if I did the right thing by keeping my cool instead of blowing up and telling him how much he hurt me and what an a** he was for doing that. Also is it ok to send the picture to him or will it make me look to desperate.

[BradensCreed]

personally i congrat u on that. keeping your cool was in my opinion the way to go. but i wouldnt send him the pic. sounds to me he just needs a lil space, or time. but who knows.

[goddess23]

hey, first of all im soo sorry to hear about what happened. i mean i relate to you in the sense that my bf is of over 8 months and we've known eachother for a little over 3 years, and were very close friends before dealing as well. so my heart really goes out to you, and i commend you on your immediate reactions. i think its good that you kept your cool at the time. however, i think for you to ever move on you'll need to confront him somewhat and get your feelings out there. but i think you should send him the pic with a letter telling him how you feel letting him know that you want it to end as well because the way things are right now it just isnt healthy for either of you and let it be. let him know that you are okay with it, but that you were hurt by what happened and that you cant be in the relationship either. but thats my opinion, i think he will understand exactly what he did, and you'll have that mess off your chest.

[sayer7]

You did the best thing you could've done I think by keeping your cool.

 

It's funny how people find all kinds of excuses and justifications to try to blow off or down-play the fact they were caught red handed. My ex used to do that all the time... I finally realized he knew he did wrong, (you said he mentioned you could email him and tell him to f' off-- so he knows he did wrong)--but his pride and ego were keeping him from fully admitting his mistake or taking full responsibility for his choices and actions.

 

Let's face it, no one likes to feel like the bad guy when that kind of stuff hits the fan.

 

You did a great job. I wouldn't send the picture because if you seriously care for him then you won't want to degrade yourself and play mind games. Just hope he finds happiness one day and figures things out soon.

[Just A Teen]

Dude your awsome...

I've never been able to dump a girl before so man i wish i could take it like you did...... Well i think it was great what you did and im glad you understood his feelings rather then just trashing them you know? And im glad that you also still have a place for him... But im really sorry that you had to intervien with this kind of stuff... i dont really know how you can take it so easily..... Yes Liking someone is not cheating on them, but its not something that happens in a relationship espically after you have been dating for a afficient(spelling sorry) amount of time. Well im glad that you dealed with it good... i also think you shouldnt' give it to him because like i think he's trying to figure things out and giving him the picture...would sort of put more stress on him in a way if you get me... Okay well Good Luck!

[sbrew21]

DO NOT send him the picture, and I would tell him to Never call you again. Get some self respect for yourself girl. Don't chew him out or anything, just you don't need to deal with bullsh*t. He will come around, they always do.

[Edge_of_6_feet]

Thank you to everyone who responded.

 

To the people who asked how I took it so easily...I didn't take it easily it hurt more than anything in my life hurt...even when I broke up with my first true love. it didn't hurt this bad..I've been crying for the last 2 days and just wishing that he'd want me back, I know that I wouldn't take him back right now because of what happened but it was so nice to be wanted.

 

However, it wasn't hard to be nice...that's how I felt I knew I couldn't tell him to f off or that he was an a hole because I'm better than that..I think. Zander and I had a long talk and he told me I was better than that and my b/f didn't know what he was missing out on and stuff like that...But the mroe Z said the more I just didn't want to be here.

 

I just wish it didn't have to be like that. I honestly loved him...he was everything to me. But for right now I think I'm going to date Jesus for a while and not worry about men.

 

THank you all...I'm not goign to send the picture...because it would confuse him too much and it'd be stooping to a level and saying I need you back and I think i'm strong enough to handle it on my own.