Meeting someone in the wrong setting?

[Dougie_D]

I'm a 30 year old guy looking to find a girl to have a relationship with. Platonic or just "fun". I don't have any experience with either so I'm open with the idea.

 

Personally, I feel "experienced" wise more compatible with 18-23 year olds but "look" wise and "socially acceptable" with the 27-35 market.

 

So my question is: Should I really be looking for an age group? And if yes, where should I go? Or is it alright to be a 30 year old at a bar/club trying to hook up with the younger crowd? I don't want to look like the old man...you what I mean?

[sara-pezzini]

well as long as you're not approaching 14 year olds you'll be fine is only a number and some girls are attracted to men their own age and some to men older.....so why not see if you like a girl and get to talking before worrying about her age and which group to include or exclude.....

[myhonestanswer]

I don't think you should be looking for a specific age group. You should be looking for someone you get along great with. That's all that really matters (usual caveats about legality, morality, etc).

[Stay_home]

Seeing as though you're open for a platonic relationship as well as a "fun" one, you have more options.

[Charli18]

I have no experience dating late 20's/early 30 year olds as I'm only in my early 20's but it depends what's comfortable with you, do you mind dating a younger woman - would you mind what your family and friends thought? As for me, I would date a 30 year old if I liked him and fell in love with him, as the previous person said - age is but a number, the only thing that would concern me, as a woman in your younger age group, would be your plans for the future - maybe you are considering settling down and having children in the near future? I know you say at the moment you're just looking for something platonic or just fun but the problem with age gaps is usually because one is further ahead than the other in terms of future plans. Please note I am talking from experience of knowing someone who was in his early 20's dating a woman in her early 30's - they went out together to the cinema etc and 'had fun' but it was mainly about that than a real relationship, she was ashamed of dating someone so young though and eventually called it off because they weren't on the same level future wise.

 

I'd advise not looking for a specific age group and just see who you end up meeting, be open minded.

[Dougie_D]

Yeah, the whole "future planning" thing is what rattles me. I recently moved to a different city, doing different things. Almost like going to college for the first time. I'm now getting comfortable with my surroundings. Plus, I'm still "finding myself".

 

I can't see myself settling as of right now. I believe that the people that have been able to date around realize what they really want in a relationship and what they can tolerate. I've only been on a few dates and no relationships.

 

That's the hard part for me. I think the lack of my relationship experiences are actually "hurting" me. Too be honest, people make me feel bad when they realize my lack of experience. Most will say "What's wrong with you?"...and to a girl.