I Like Her, She Likes Me...But We Still Are Not Together!

[GN]

Ok. I have liked a girl for a very long time now (Lets call her Julie for identification sakes). So me and Julie were getting on brilliantly,. i have known her for years now and its been about a year that i have thought of her as a person i would really love to be with.

 

So a few months ago, we got into the habit of talking everynight without fail over MSN. We got so close that we eventually decided to make an agreement that if either of us was un-married by the age of 40, then we will get married. Well, of course, i saw this as just a friendship thing and thought nothing else of it.

 

So we carried on talking for a long time and still do to this day, but recently we ventured round a friends house for a little party and thats where all the excitement started. We were chatting between a few of us and she turns to me out of the blue and asks if our agreement was still on, my reply "Of course it is". So a couple more minutes go by and she asks if we can not leave it till we were 40, as she felt it was too late. So i sugested 30 and, although she agreed, she seemed (and expressed) her disappointment and kept saying "i really want to marry you, its not just a last resort i really want to". Of course, my assumption was this was the drink talking.

 

So after the night ended, me and a friend of mine (lets call her sharon) walk her and her friends home and get chatting on the way back. I eventually let it out that i like julie a lot, but ask her to not tell anyone and she accepts this. Well last saturday i found out (all in a rush of madness and tears from others) that sharon had told someone else (Julie's best friend of all people) and that Julie had liked me for ages aswell so this other girl told Julie i liked her. Well this of course put me in an awkward situation.

 

I went and spoke to julie and we told each other how we felt, i said i really liked her but her exact words to m were "Well, i have really liked you on and off for a while now. Sometimes i think i really want to be with you and other times i think maybe its just because we are such good friends". Well that was basically the end of the conversation.

 

My friends and hers have told me to go for it and ask her out, but i am at a slump as to what to do. What should i do, ask he out or leave her to make her own choice?

 

(Sorry for the long post but i thought you needed to know everything before you could give a real reply. Oh and by the way, we are going away (One of my friends and all of hers) for 5 days next monday so maybe someone could give me advice onwhat to do then)

 

Just thought i would add, im 17 and never had a girlfriend (only ever asked one girl out, she said no) so im completely new to this whole process.

 

Thank you very much for your help, Stranded Fella

[brit]

ask her out! she likes you!

[GN]

Lol that simple huh?

 

Well, seeing your post, its made me think that maybe she said what she said so it didnt feel like she was the one making the move on me (Ya know how girls love to be chased). What does everyone else think?

[Francis]

She certainly likes you, but she might be disappointed that, while she was extremely transparent with you and told you her feelings, you did not reciprocate. You did not even tell her you like her. Instead, you went and told other people.

 

Two issues here :

 

You are not transparent might be interpreted: you don't have the courage to say how you feel, you don't have the courage to affirm what you are, too cold and calculating, too much in control.

 

You told other people: might be interpreted that you are not trustworthy. You depend too much on other people's opinion, too weak and not capable to resist to peer pressure.

 

I suggest you think about these issues seriously and approach her, tell her how you feel. If you have difficulties expressing your feelings after she was so straight forward with you and you like her, you may have a control problem.

 

Good luck!

[GN]

Sorry, i meant to say. When i went to speak to her after she apparently found out, she was still somewhat confused about the whole situation. I did present my feelings to her then openly and clearly so she knows from me how i feel about her. Sorry, my fault i should have said that.

[GN]

Im sorry to double post, but does anyone else have any help on this situation because i really need your help.

[tahlia]

hmmm if you are too worried to ask her out then wait till another party, get quite drunk and then just kiss her. See what happens from there. At the very worst you still get to pash.

 

Of course this comes from the girl who usually needs to be drunk to have any confidence. hehe.

 

She likes you, ask her out, she'll be waiting on the edge of her seat for you to do it i;m sure of it!

[GN]

Lol that is a brilliant idea!

 

Well we are going away with 8 other friends (who all know we like each other, and planned to set us up while we were there anyway) for 5 days next Monday so i guess i can see what happens then. Staying in the same apartment could make for some entertainment

[GN]

Ok, well i just got back from the trip and nothing happened. There really didnt seem to be a spark between us. Last i heard she really liked me, but she did not show it in any way during this trip (God i tried to give my feelings away, but felt as though i was getting the cold shoulder everytime). Do you think she has reconsidered and decided she does not want a relationship with me or something else?

 

P.S Im going out with her and the same people i went away with tonight for a meal, do you think i should let her make the decisions or come outright and ask her how she feels?