All's not well...

[axis_of_knowledge]

Good day, everyone!

 

This is my first post. I am having some serious issues here with my first real girlfriend (my first relationship).

 

Here's the deal: I met this girl in the summer of 2002. She had a boyfriend at the time.. they were together 2 years strong. We were friends for about 3 weeks and then we admitted to having feelings for each other. So then she started cheating on him with me (I'm not proud of myself). I told her that I couldn't keep this up and that I either wanted her to be all mine or else I was going to leave her. She kept asking me to be patient, but after about 6 months.. I left her. It was December 17th. I'll never forget it.. she was suicidal and wanted to kill herself.

 

You see.. the bitch is crazy (no offense, hun.. if you somehow magically read this post). Her IQ is way off the chart (like over 200!) and with that intelligence comes the property of being eccentric. She's a genius but all the crazyness is there too. Oh yeah, and to add to the confusion she's got OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) and DID (dissociative identity disorder; similar to multiple personalities).

 

Anyways, back to the story.. she called me on Christmas day to ask me if I'd take her back if she left her boyfriend. I told her 'no'. I gave her the time to make the decision and since she couldn't leave him then, I wanted out. Then she told me that she had dumped the guy before she called me! I was like wtf!! "You dumped him on Christmas day!?!". Well to make this long story a bit shorter: We were in an on and off relationship since then and things haven't stabilized. So anyways, it was clear to me that we are in love. She got along really well with my best friend (this guy I grew up with.. known him for 10 years). At first it was bothering me but then I had cast my doubts aside and was happy with the fact that my girl and my best bud were able to get along really well.

 

All was relatively well until Sunday, March 16th.... when my "best friend" told me that he slept with her on Friday night. I was devestated. This girl was so accomodating in the fact that she didn't care at all about how much money I have or the clothes I wear. She loved me for who I was.. and I figured that it was worth putting up with a bit of crazyness to get that. But I wasn't prepared to put up with cheating with my friend.. I mean.. now she's crossing a very PERSONAL line.

 

She told me that she wasn't all there when it happened. (If you ask me.. It was just the fact that they were both drunk and horny). I'd rather not blame her mental illness for what happened. It may make me feel better but I think she's too wise to let that stuff happen. I keep reminding myself that I'm dealing with a deceptive, scheming genius. I believe she's carefully calculated every move. I've discovered that she can lie with a straight face and knows how to hide a guilty conscience really well (by watching her cheat on her first boyfriend).

 

Right now she says that she loves me and wants me back. She wants to marry me. As for my friend, he doesn't seem to care much about what happened.. he's already stopped talking to her. I feel so betrayed by both of them.. well more by her because I know my friend really well and that he would try something (I would expect it from him... that's why their getting along bothered me in the first place!).

 

I'm in a really tough spot.. and I don't know what to do.... I don't know what's logical anymore. HELP!

[paul475]

...get away from this woman, if you can. These things never end well.

 

If you can't, then cultivate the friendship of a trustworthy woman who can walk you through the recovery from this kind of trauma.

 

Just because a human being can cue-up seemingly appropriately to your questions and concerns does NOT mean that they are fully human. This woman has been gravely injured and is incapable of feeling feelings in the same way that you or I do. She is completely self absorbed.

 

These individuals can lay waste to whole STAFFS of psychotherapists...you do not have a chance in hell of being helpful here. Do not listen to her, listen to YOU.

 

You are in pain and can feel that incredible pull towards certain disaster. Either you will avoid going there because you understand what your gut is telling you, or you are going to have to be thrashed by this ugly human being.

 

More later...I have to run...

[axis_of_knowledge]

Yeah buddy!!!

 

I think you just hit the hammer on the nail on that one. Good call. Seems like you understand what's going on and your advice will be carefully considered. Thank you.

 

This girl is not mentally challenged, according to her.. we are!! Do you get me? She can lay waste to staffs of psychotherapists cuz she's above all of them and us. Sort of like a parallel understanding that's on a higher plane. Human beings disgust her. She understands how humans work and doesn't like it one bit. I mean you have to be a f.ucking genius to be so scheming and manipulative. She's a drug dealer, computer hacker, anarchist and criminal mastermind.. part of the reason why I loved her so much. ^_^ [oh and I forgot to mention arms dealing and phreaking (telephone hacking).. she told me not to bother changing my number cuz she'll find a way to get it.]

 

But dammit.. she wants to possess me. And I think she'll someday manage to outsmart me.. she will prolly use every sick trick in the book (the one she wrote) to get me back! I need help.. I know I do.. and if I don't.. I sure will soon.

[paul475]

...here's the deal.

 

There is a higher level in the order of things that you can use to "hear" what she is saying to herself.

 

When she says, "human beings disgust me," what she's really saying is that she is disgusted by herself. She is projecting the guilt she harbors inside of herself onto the world. It's that simple.

 

And this is true with all people, too, it's just easier to see it when someone else is doing it, rather than ourselves. We like to think of ourselves differently than what we see going on, "out there." However, the ancient sages (and my experience) make it clear: while the rest see themselves as, "in the world," the avatar sees the whole world, "in himself/herself."

 

If this woman doesn't work for an intelligence operative, she will be very soon. I suggest you inform the police that she is making terroristic threats towards you and that you want to make the local authorities aware of her behavior. It is quite profoundly mentally ill.

 

If she is working for an intelligence agency, she will have a mentor or "handler" who is responsible for her actions/behavior. If you can find out who that individual is, you will likely be refreshed by the control they have over their subject.

 

In the meantime, ratchet down on the drama here. You are simply a messed up guy with problems who finds himself with -- yup, you guessed it -- a messed up chick. The challenge is not how to make this relationship work, because it won't. It can't. If either party in a relationship acts in such a way as to not want a relationship, the relationship is gone. And if she is reeling you in and then making you sorry for your weakness, she is acting in such a manner as to be equivalent to NOT WANTING a relationship with you. So the trick, if you want to think of it that way, is to simply starve your addict OUT. Do not FEED the addiction and within a month she will have no hold over you -- and you'll thank your lucky stars that she does not.

 

That means at LEAST two weeks (I'd recommend a month) of ZERO contact. No drive-bys, no hang-up calls, no sitting and thinking for hours about her, no notes, no looking for her in all the places you think she might be -- NOTHING. After a couple of weeks you will find yourself strong enough to RUN away from her and avoid contact.

 

You must withdraw from her or she will own you, and she means no one well.

 

Do not listen to her bullshit. Follow through for YOUR OWN SANITY with your best efforts at causing a clean break to occur. If she defeats your efforts then the authorities need to be made aware of her predation. It's not funny and you must learn that this is NOT LOVE, but addiction and cruelty.

 

Best of luck to you. May you have the strength of character to deal with this menace. If you don't have it, you will either obtain it or you will be dead, it's that simple and it is that serious.

 

Get acquainted with your local police substation employees to get a feel for how they treat situations like yours is threatening to become. You will need help here because no one can just wish a barnacle away.

[axis_of_knowledge]

Wow man.. I think I had NO idea what I was getting myself into...

 

please excuse me if I write something that's hard to understand, as I've just got 2 hours of sleep last night (due to an ill scheduled university exam).

 

Yeah.. she probably has no idea that this isn't love... I know she's addicted to me.. she even calls me a "drug". She needs to get her fix.. dood! you seriously think she's working for an intelligence officer or are you saying that she IS an operative? Sounds a bit far-fetched.. but then again, she never fails to surprise me. I mean she LOOKS like your average 18 year-old school girl.. but little did I know she was once selling firearms to the mob.. this isn't funny at all. I understand this is very serious. Thanks a whole bunch, Paul!

 

But how do I go abouts telling the authorities that she's making terrorist threats? She threatens to marry me!?.. to love me til she dies?..

 

Thanks for your time.

[axis_of_knowledge]

Just wanted to get something straight..

 

You are simply a messed up guy with problems who finds himself with -- yup, you guessed it -- a messed up chick.

 

I'll tell you right now.. I'm a simple guy, with simple needs and wants, who has been put into an extremely complicated situation. The situation itself is twisted and corrupted by mental disorders.

 

I'm trying to come out of this one with my sanity and health intact. But I'm also concerned for the well-being of my ex.. I still have strong feelings for her and want to see her come out of this one alive.

 

Thanks for caring.