Turning the Tables

[Len]

Hello, I've been here numerous time "complaining" about the same friend constantly. Basically to sum it up. First I met him at school, then the first time we ever hung out was when I drove him somewhere, then it all began. I started driving him EVERYWHERE for a year and a half and there were a lot of hard times in the middle. I had to sacrifice everything I had to help him, lent him money and time, and during the course of this time, I felt like I was being used, but I didn't have the balls to tell him. So now, he has finally gotten his truck back, and I saw this coming; once he gets his truck back I'll be rendered useless. Which came out to be true. So during the week he got his truck back, I finally got the courage to talk to him about how I felt about him, and when I tried to say like, "oh I feel like this is a one-sided friendship, it's toxic, and you're more of a critic than a friend to me, you're not a very good friend.

 

Then instead of him asking what makes you feel this way, he turns the tables around and then points the finger at me and was all like, "I work everyday and all you do is sit on your ass wondering what other people are doing, you call and text me everyday and it's annoying as hell." I didn't deny that I did those things and I do text/call a lot, which could be annoying, but he ALWAYS gets my help, either I offer it or he asks for it, doesn't make a difference. I helped him so many times with issues that's not just money, with just being there as a friend, * * * * , I even drove down a 3 hour round trip just to get him damn food on numerous occasions. I never asked him for a favor, the only thing I ever do is call him and text him. Besides that's not the point, he probably inadvertently avoided the subject I brought up and called me a LIAR. How he's like "you ALWAYS lie to me, I've caught you on many occasions, you're a compulsive liar." The only reason I lie is because it was about me, when he asks if I turned in any job applications, I just say yes so he doesn't scold me, and I started lying a lot because I'm not even supposed to hang out with him. I know I shouldn't lie at all, but in the big picture my lies are miniscule and only hurt me in the end. Now he doesn't trust me even after all the times I've been there for him, he's barely ever there for me whenever I want to talk. He always turns the tables and I end up apologizing and I'm effing sick of this. I know I'm at fault too, but boy my faults are nothing compared to his. Also when we talked again I told him that I wasn't able to convey my point and he's all like, "you already did and it was clear, but I'm not gonna give you the reaction you're looking for." Then I questioned him over and over why why why? I forgot the rest, but yeah..I'm really tired of this, I want to die. There's too many details that I could add but GFGFGDSGD

[Cuppedia]

I can imagine how you feel and I can see how the whole situation made you so angry and depressed, but somebody who took advantage of you for so long wasn't going to act like a friend.

 

The situation might change if he ends up needing your help again, but don't wait for that to happen, ignore him from now on and work on your self-esteem, so in the future nobody makes you feel like you need to give everything up to be accepted.

 

You know you both made mistakes but don't beat yourself up for it, get your life together and don't give that guy the pleasure of seeing you upset.