Get this...

[auburnslp]

Maybe I am just absolutely insane...it's quite possible...but I am going to encourage every single person out here struggling through the pain of the loss to stop listening to "our songs"...I have one for you to download and listen to instead...get on Morpheus or whatever and download Elton John's "Someone Saved My Life Tonight". It might possibly make you shed a tear or two, but it may also gain you a shred of strength, and hope. Or maybe I am just absolutely nuts right now...my best to all...Michael

[auburnslp]

the person that will save your life tonight and tomorrow also is you. Strength, resolve, pain, misery, and then letting go. It's all within us people. Damnit, we're all at our knees. Rightfully so. It hurts like Hell. But you know what? It's time to stand back up. There should never be a single person to bring us to our knees...we are all stronger than that inside. Our hearts allow that to happen, but our strength and hope must allow us to stand again.

[auburnslp]

and then, when strong enough friends, if willing to allow music to calm the savage beast, to allow a song to speak to our soul,...get this next...another Elton John song...Funeral for a Friend (Love lies Bleeding)...because truly, that love of ours is bleeding in our hands, minds, souls...time to start letting go my friends...

[Hopingpraying]

I hear what you are saying, but I listen to "our" songs all the time. I look at our pictures all the time. It has helped me I think. I can now see her and not be all fluttery in the stomach. Maybe that is just me healing, but hiding from our pictures or past does nothing for me.

 

Each person has there own way I guess. Some different than others..

 

Good luck on healing. We all need too.

[rich46]

My way is to not listen to the songs that remind me of her and definitely no love songs. The first week after the break up I couldn't listen to music full stop. Each song reminded me of her. 3 weeks later though I am always listening to upbeat tunes that will keep me in an upbeat, positive frame of mind! 8) 8) 8)

[Mun]

Hi all,

Music really does help. I like to listen to upbeat, girly songs. They get me in a good mood and I forget about pain for awhile.

 

Whatever works, do it !

[Vert]

I accidentally bumped into a picture yesterday of me and my ex-gf, and I had a mild panic attack. Well, I guess it wasn't quite a panic attack, but I felt my heart start to race and my breathing became shallow. I had to turn the picture over quickly to avoid any more pain in my soul as well. I think that my best way is not to be reminded of anything that we shared. I have a hard time wearing anything she gave me (a watch and sandals, for example) as well.

[auburnslp]

one previous post to this thread had a good point...we all handle it differently...though he said he listens to "our songs" all the time, and it is healthy for him, I am definitely at the opposite end of the spectrum...like vert, I find it all difficult to be reminded of the time together...my mind does that to me enough without physical reminders.

 

I have destroyed everything. All the pictures, all the letters and emails. I gave back everything she had given me, except for a watch (ironically enough, huh Vert?). I did however sacrificially burn in my fireplace the poem that she wrote for me that accompanied the watch. The watch is all I have left...and at times I have considered throwing it out of my car window....but it is a really cool watch. Damn this is all so stupid...

 

Whatever works for you is the way to go. I had a couple beers too many the other night when I initiated this thread...but I felt it all to be true...and still do. There are no easy answers...despite the progress I have made, it is still difficult at times, sitting home alone, going out with friends and coming home alone, sleeping alone...alone...that is the hard part. It will happen for all of us that we will eventually meet another and be happy, but for now, well, it just sucks...and it is hard to let the thoughts of the past love die away when we have no one to give that love to...

 

To sum it all up, I guess life just sucks sometimes. But maybe that is how we learn to appreciate when life is so good-the comparison, the relative terms. I am really looking forward to having some good times again...Michael

[Mun]

Hi Michael,

You know when I read your original posts on this thread I got a sense of what you were feeling. Funny isn't it? but I could tell you were feeling rather down.

 

Keep being strong. It takes time to get over someone. You will have your happiness again one day. I hope it is soon.

 

In the meantime keep letting it out on here all you want. We are here for you. You can also pm me if you like 8).

 

Mun

[auburnslp]

thanks Muneca. And you are very perceptive. Found through friends that it is truly, finally over, no more hope, my ex is now in a passionate relationship with her ex...and I'm out for good. I know that this is ultimately a good thing, now I have the finality I need to move on truly...but it was still hard at first. Ah well, 4 months later, it is only now that I can truly allow my heart to let go of hope.

 

Funny, but I knew this was coming, and it was still somewhat of a shock when it finally occurred. Is that normal?

 

And also, is it normal that I wish for nothing more for her to be miserable with her choice, for the rest of her life? No anger involved there...but I just cannot find it within myself to hope for her happiness...maybe when someone hurts you like this it is normal to want nothing but the worst for them...I don't know.

 

Sorry to ramble on. Gotta get started moving on with my life. Thanks to everyone who helped me through all this...Michael

[Mun]

Yes it's normal. She hurt you and you want her to hurt too. It's part of grieving and moving on.

 

I don't know the order or if I am missing one but they are : denial, shock, deppression, anger, indifference, humor. Something like that.

 

Best to you.

Love

A