NC Rules????

[angelicshadow]

Does the person who is the dumper or the dumpee make the first contact??

[Celadon]

I think it would be the dumper, because the dumpee is already the one feeling rejected. If the dumpee tries to make contact and the dumper is not receptive, that would really hurt.

 

Unless the dumpee is TRULY over the dumper and is fully self-confident. Then I guess it would work.

[brucethescot]

Hi there!

 

If you were the one dumped, you MUST maintain NC! As difficult as it is and will be, it is a MUST for several reasons. (I speak from personal experience...having been dumped by my GF of 15 years. its been 6 weeks and I haven't even thought of breaking NC).

 

NC gives YOU time to clear your thoughts and emotions.

 

NC gives you time to heal and better understand what happened.

 

NC will help shift control away from your EX to you. You can rest assured your EX is expecting you to make contact. By NC you are signalling your EX you can live without him/her. You will create doubt and mystery about what you are doing.

 

As tough as it is, it is a MUST. Any contact you make will push your EX further away from you. Your EX has got to want to come back to you...not you back to him/her.

 

Get the e-books STOP YOUR DIVORCE and GET BACK YOU EX. They will tell you this and lots more.

 

Hope this helps!

[Pebek]

I agree with brucethescot 100%. The NC rule helps you get your mind straight and the dumpee should not make any attempt to initiate contact. I know how hard it is to stay in NC mode but it gets easier with each passing day. It's been close to 5 months since my gf of 4 1/2 years left me without even saying goodbye and if not for NC I would hurt a lot more. There are still times I'm dying to see her or at least hear her voice but at the same time I realize it's essential to stick to NC if I want to retain my sanity.

 

Hang on tough, all of you NCers.

 

Pete