Age Difference

[KrazyKev]

I'm 17, Senior in High School. I'm thinking of asking a 14 year-old Freshman to the prom. She's pretty mature, and I like her enough to take her to the prom. Some of my classpeople think that's wrong, some don't. I think its okay. Maybe if she were in Elementary School, then it'd be sick. Just think, 6 years from now there would be nothing wrong with it. A 23 year old and a 20 year old. But that isn't exactly valid. Anyway, what does everyone think about this? Am I a sick bastid? What would other people think? The more I think about it, the more nervous I get.

[mermayd]

youre right, the age difference between 20 and 23 are not valid here. The maturity difference between a 20 and 23 year old is not as large as the one that exists between 14 and 17.

 

Why do you like her? What are your intentions with her? If they are innocent, then maybe you could give it a shot, but I really think that it would be wise for you to consider dating someone within your own age group rather than someone so much younger. I think it would be to your benefit.

[KrazyKev]

Yeah, the thing most people think is that I'm trying to take advantage of her. I've never dated before, neither has she. My intentions are innocent... I like her and want he to come with me to the prom. I'd be too afraid to try and be a pervert by attempting the unmentionable (ahem, sex in any shape or form.) I like her because she's attractive and she's mature, unlike her fellow classman (girls usually mature faster). I like her personality as well, which is difficult to describe. Eh, I'll think about it.

[RobzGr8]

Age is no big deal. Whether you are 17 and she is 14, or you are 27 and she is 41 (like my last girlfriend and I). The thing to remember is not maturity, because it's a total BS lie that once you reach a certain age you are more "mature" than someone who is younger.

Women do NOT mature faster than boys. It's totally dependant on the individual. I've dated girls my own age who are so immature I had to dump them!! I've also dated girls between the ages of 19 and 23 who were VERY immature! I mostly date OLDER women over 30 because they are mature, have their lives together, and know what they want without having to play all the games that younger women do.

I am 27 and everyone says I am way too mature for my age. I credit that with having been in the Marines for four years. But, age is not indicative of maturity.

Age does matter in what particular stage this person might be in!! Younger people tend to want to party 24/7! People in their mid twenties are usually deciding that it's time to get serious...find a good job, finish school, whatever. And people above 30 are generally interested in things like marriage, children, buying a house, etc. Then of course you have your sprinkling of EVERYONE who is all over the board and can't decide WHAT they want or at what age they want it!!

Anyway...as far as taking this young thang to prom. Remember, she is only 14. I have a 14 year old neice!! And she's all kinds of screwed up in the head right now!! She doesn't know if she's coming or going or which direction!! At 14, most girls are simply NOT ready for any kind of physical relationship outside of the occasional kissing. Except hispanic girls!! Whoo-eee...those little mommas are ready for the husband, 2.5 kids and all the trimmings!! STAY AWAY FROM THEM UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE CALLED DADDY!!

Now, you CLAIM that your designs for this girl are purely innocent...to which I resoundly say... I DONT THINK SO!!! You know what you want from her! You know you want to get this young lady and try to talk her into making love to you! But she is not ready! And talking a girl into giving it up before she's ready has so many psychological impacts on her future developement you can't possibly imagine!! Just wait until you are MY age and you are with the same girls that were talked into making love on prom night!! Man...it seems that every girl I've been with was either raped, molested, or lost her virginity too young!! They really get screwed in the head!

Now, you're just thinking with your little head, but keep in mind that EVERY girl out there thinks that she is going to marry the man she looses her precious virginity too and when they DON'T, they make EVERY man after him pay for it in spades!!!

Okay...I'm going off topic here...Just giving you something to think about.

But, age makes no difference. The only thing age determines is where this person is emotionally, physically and financially. And you have to remember where this girl is right now...she's still a baby. She is not even done finding herself right now. You can take her to prom if your plans ARE innocent, but don't try to make love to her or talk her into that. It'll destroy her for many years to come!!

[atl585]

hey no i dont c nething rong wit it! Im 14 and my b/f is 17 so no der aint nuttin rong wit it

[dextro]

well man, I see passion, I see love, I see life !

 

 

Why do you have to listen to others, if you are truly interested in her you'll make the right decision. I read the other posts and you said you have innocent intentions and even if I dont know you im sure you have good intentions. If i'd be your big brother I'd kick your butt to make sure you go out with her.

 

take care and have a good PROM

 

Jeff l. Spiegel

[dfcannon]

Hey CrazyKev...

 

I had a situation like this when I was 15 and she 12. She was super-cool and a great girlfriend and I really liked her. But I got a lot of teasing and my Dad said she was too young. Her mom could not have cared less, and in fact liked me a lot, and still does to this day. But anyway, I was too shy and socially insecure to handle all the pressure, so one day I just called her out of the blue and broke up with her. She cried and I know it hurt her. Hmmm...wanna guess how I feel about that decision now? So now, I don't consider age difference, but I also have a healthy amount of self-analysis.

 

Now, I'll add another thing to this notion some people have that you really just want to hook up. I say that's a lot of BS. Yes, you are attracted to her physically. But I know that guys can be in it for more than sex, because I am...guys who are just in it for sex cannot imagine that other guys are not. Know what I mean? Here's your real challenge, in my opinion. How much self-control do you have? You'll need a lot as things progress. Also, I'll give you a ray of hope on that one: some of the BEST relationships I EVER had never resulted in sex, yet we had some of the best sex I've ever had. Sound crazy? You don't have to get naked with a girl or even go to "2nd base" (I'm assuming that phrase is still around) to have very intense feelings for both of you, just from being close and kissing. Because all the private parts are still working just fine for both of you.

 

I'm not a religious person particularly, but teenagers like you ought to know that in this crazy, oversexed world, where the mob rules and a guy's guilty until proven innocent, you truly can be a real man and not have sex with her, and miss nothing for it. Trust me, the whole naked and have sex thing is nowhere near as satisfying as being just physically close to someone you care about.

[KrazyKev]

I just saw this post.... that was a while ago. Well, I didn't go to the prom at all. I did become friends with the younger girl... One of the last days of school (I was a senior, didn't have to be at school) I went to show her my yearbook. I sat down and was talking to her but kinda felt dirty because I had planned to date this girl. While mature, she's too young. Maybe 4-5 years from now I'll ask her out, heh. Thanks for your support folks.

[lokagirla]

Wait a second kid, youre taking over the prejudice record here. what is that with hispanic girls?

 

im a 15 year old puerto rican, and no girl goes over to the momma side u talk about without ignorance. the lack of information and formal education is the main reason for all women around the world to end up with a not desired pregnancy.

 

there are two different stuff here, physical relations and pregnancy, they are related, yet they dont have to be.

 

people have different morality views also.

to those who live up to the chauvinst view, VIRGINITY is essential.

some just believe in responsability over their own actions, takin the right precautions to keep healthy.

of course if someone does believe in physical purity, it must be equal.

 

and a smart girl doesnt believe shell marry any guy she is with.

 

but after all i do agree on the innocent intentions part. dont push no one into doin or vice versa.

 

just dont generalize about HISPANICS or any other people!

 

[alicat216]

Dude, go for it. I was 14 and went to prom with an 18-year old. As long as you think she's mature enough, that's really all that matters. Age is a number, maturity is what's truly important. And, depending on what she wants afterwards (wink wink), go for it, too. Just make sure she's comfortable with the age difference too, and don't worry about what everyone around you thinks about it. If you want to ask her to prom, do it! Good luck, I'm sure she'll say yes.

[Pysal131]

What ... dont you understand. Prom is over lol. He didnt go, he didnt take her. His question is done. Leave him alone lol.