I am 22 years old

[inpink]

My lonliness is killing me...

 

I always think that a girl gets hurt more than a boy does after a breakup.

 

A counselor friend told me that it was because i did not know how to take care of myself when faced with a breakup. She cited from a book Seduction For Love (by Naitian Wang, Ph.D.) and made me believe it.

 

But how can I take care of myself? when I am in love, I am in love. when I am in love, I am a fool.

 

Is there any decent gentleman in the world? Any gentleman who knows how to take care of his girl who is in love with him?

 

Is there true love in the world? Why do we have to learn about "seduction for love"?

 

I am 22 years old. Maybe I need to learn about... well, everything: men, love, romance, relationship...

 

But I am so tired.

 

Yet, I do not want to be alone. lonliness is killing me.

[Swiss_Chic]

I know what lonliness can feel like. In fact, I know how it feels now. But the best advice I have heard on the subject is to have confidence. Believe you don't NEED your boyfriend, you WANT your boyfriend. If you want tips on places to meet people, there are hundreds of posts on it that are acessible. After that, don't be dependent on your boyfriend. Don't act desperate for them. Respect the fact that they are dating you for you and they like you.

 

In your alone time, find other things to focus on. Like I have been going through a lonliness spell, but now I am devoting a lot of my time to soccer for am up coming tryout. I have more independence. I don't need a guy, but if I meet one I fancy, I can have one.

 

Good Luck

 

PS- welcome to the enotalone community. We are all here to help!

[Gunther]

allthough it seems chivalry has been all but abondoned I assure you that there are men who dont get there brains cought in there zipper, and know that true love is more than skin deep. I know that there are good men in the world because I would like to think I am one of them, many people would call me old fashioned, but I dont care. The right man for you will come along but do not get in a relationship because you feel you need to as earlier stated. Listen to swiss chic, she knows were of she speaks {I know I have read her posts =p }

[mtastic]

Hi inpink,

 

I know how you feel, sometimes I have alot of trouble coping with lonliness as well. The best thig you can do is try to find things to to that you enjoy. If you want to meet new people, try to join some kind of common interest organization, like a book club or film discussion group, or perhaps take a class in something your interested in (unless you're a student already, I can tell you that the last thing I need right now is another class to worry about).

 

Of course, you always have us. If you're ever feeling lonely and want to talk, feel free to PM or IM me.

 

Best of Luck,

mtastic

[hardcore]

we are all fool's when we fall in love becuse love isn't real how about that its outof the bag there is no love only a need to populait thats all there's nothing wrong with you you just need to pair bond with some one and be done love is not real its a lie something we tell are selfs to get sleep at nigth but im here to tell you its all fack . but maybe you have to learn that out your self.

[inpink]

I'd like to thank you for all your thoughts. I am so glad that I have found this place.

 

---Inpink

[ComputerGuy]

I know how you feel, I'm 19 and feel the same way quite often.....I go into a relationship and end up getting hurt and find myself asking if there is any decent girls out there who know how to treat a guy. It sux, but I'm slowly learning to accept the card life has dealt me.

 

I haven't given up hope by any means, I still dream of finding that special girl who is meant for me and whom I'm meant for, but I have given up looking. I figure she will come when she comes, and there is no point trying to fight against the inevitable, and that is until the time is right, you wont find someone no matter how hard you look.

[RayF]

Where it really gets confusing is when two good people get together, try their hardest to treat the other person right. And admit to each other that they know they are lucky to have eachother right up to the breakup.

 

Love is not as cut and dry as finding a gentleman or a sweet girl.

 

You have that have trust, respect, generosity, support, and that special feeling of being in love all in one and someone still will want to eventually bail for whatever reasons.

 

I think the problem is that people just give up to damn easy these days and have such a negative view that "it just isn't working out so my heart tells me it's time to let go" BS.

 

I can't wait till the day my ex feels like she wants to date agian, and she realizes that she won't be able to find another guy so easy who loved her as much to stay by her besdside while she had surgery for over 6 months.

 

Never going out together, nothing physical, at a young age of 18, when i could have been out living it up after just graduating high school.

 

And whats to be said of it while it's brought up during the breakup?" yeah that shows allot of character".

 

God. what a load of crap.

 

Uhhh...sorry, ijust get bitter sometimes,

 

To give you some advice,which is why i originally inteded to post this...

 

Realize you deserve whats best for you. Is there someone out there who will appriciate you for all that you are and tret you like a gentleman would? Definatly. But even then, your failed relationships will give you insight on how to better hold onto a goodthing when you see it.

 

This is something i could have used. I wish i had leared all i know now from someone who wasn't as great a person as my recent ex was,then maybe i could have been better equipped to make it work.

 

This breakup your going through will help you when you do find mr.right.

 

Think about what part you played in this relationship ending. Think about how you can change yourself for the better. And most importantly, think about what you want in a boyfirend,so you won';t waste more time getting attatched in a bad relationship.