Leave me.....Invite me to birthday, HELP!

[diddums]

Hey ill give a bit of background first to help

Together for 14 months im her first love in her words and first bf to stay longer than 3 months, everything clicked from the day we met, sounds like a story but ive never been with someone where in the space of 5 hours i go from "hi" to holding hands and kissing.

 

She got back with me after 1 week! of nc which she broke then left again after another 2 weeks once her current bf came into the picture.

They started going out after 2 months of talking and being "friends" but she would of got with him sooner if she knew i wouldnt leave her and said it was ok to be with him.

 

In between the time of leaveing me and her new bf i went NC and she broke it again saying that shes misses me, cares alot about me and that when with this guy thinks about me and talks about me with him, and even mentioned bad things about this guy! I rushed into it telling my feelings for her to say "lets be friends though."

 

She ended up with him when my friend deleted her off my facebook so she thought i was gone and she jumped at this guy a day later. 2 days later for her to call and ask me about facebook i explained and she got very upset to find the truth, i told her i had to go NC as she was with this guy which i cant bare on myself.

 

From then every week she tried to contact me with any excuse, my birthday came 3 weeks later she text "happy birthday x" and i replied thanking, that night i was going to a gig i knew she be at with her new bf(who didnt turn up) and by luck i saw her but didnt talk or acknowledge her in the crowd and just enjoyed myself(i take she thought id jump at a chance to be all over her, by the way she kept trying to find me and turning around to look at me every couple of seconds)

 

2 weeks later she msn's me about being depressed i knew why(friend problems) i stupidly helped and then she got her ego boost and didnt really talk there after, she readded me on facebook and then invited me to a gig for her birthday, i told her its best not to as i still feel to much for her and that i had to go NC(i blocked her msn, skype and stopped using facebook)

 

Since then she has tried to contact me every 2 weeks somehow by phone and friends say shes left messages on my facebook which are relating to inside jokes of ours or about her in my area for a party! And today has now invited me to a a BBQ at hers with her friends and her bf for her birthday next month.

 

Her and her bf (i would say rebound) have been together for 3 months now and we split up 5 months ago, ino she clearly still cares and gets jealous at the thought of me with another girl, and her current bf is the complete opposite of me in everyway.

 

So far NC for me is best and this bday ino will bring me down to see her and give her the power she wants. plus ill just be going against my own saying of NC

but aswell theres the feeling of just that wanting to see her and to show i care about her but i suppose it wont do any good like i said. maybe just send a happy birthday text?

So what you guys think i should do and think of the whole situation?

[endy]

Don't do anything and stay NC. In time you're going to realize she's a piece of garbage that you hopefully don't want back. Can I ask exactly why you would want this person back? Look at her actions closely. She left once, she'll leave again. You also answered your own question earlier and where did it get you? Let's be friends. Go NC and keep it.

 

If you haven't read it...

 

 

 

post 36

[diddums]

good questions my man, the reason i would take her back is because of who she is as a person and ino what id have to do to make it a better relationship but i would say this new bf is partly to blame for getting involved and worming his way in, he knew what he was doing from the start, we live and learn really

[endy]

Ok, the problem with that view is she made the decision to get involved with him.

 

the reason i would take her back is because of who she is as a person and ino what id have to do to make it a better relationship

 

When relationships fail it's never one person's fault. They usually fail because of personal incompatibility or needs not being met over a long period of time. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Right now she's keeping you on the backburner in case her and her rebound don't work out. You just still have love goggles on. Do you really want to be a second choice? Think about it. She comes back, after just hooking up with that guy. I think you really don't realize who this girl is. Your a man, and you deserve better than this. Have a bit of respect for yourself and set some boundaries man. You are giving up all your power to this girl.

 

I know you don't want to, but seriously I wouldn't give this girl the time of day anymore. Try to move on and find something better in my opinion. Even if you did get back together, how could you trust her? This girl made a decision to hook up with someone else right after you. I know it sucks, and trust me i've been there. If you really look at who she is, look at all the facts and her actions. Not her words. Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than any words.

[diddums]

i understand what your saying and its true, what shes done is pathetic and just plain stupid, all ino is id rather give it a 2nd chance and if that fails leave it be knowing i gave it my all, and we both spoke about why it didnt work which just came down to lack of communication about what we wanted which is a stupid reason to just jump at the next guy. being second choice doesnt bother me as i wont be taking her back so quickly shes got alot of proving her worth before i say yes to being with her.

[endy]

Well do as you wish man. Time will tell. Good luck, make sure it's what you want. Because if you go back, and it doesn't work. More pain.

[diddums]

thanks man if it works out it be great but ino that if it doesnt work 2nd time i wont be waiting around or sitting wanting her again ill happily move on