how do you be a challenge?

[sbrew21]

I have a long distance relationship and I want to know how to be challenging and keep his interest. He basically told me he likes a challenge (he said guys always want what they can't have) without really saying it, so I was wondering what I could do to keep him interested. We have been together about four months now and I like him sooooo much. I hate games but I really need some advice on how to do it, since he seems to be all about it. I hate it when I lose also, so please help!!!!!!

[Lily04]

Well this is an odd question - I'd think the long-distance part would be challenge enough But if you want to add even more challenge I would suggest flirting & teasing him. I do this with my bf sometimes & I know another couple (who are just dating for fun, nothing serious) and it's almost the basis of their relationship.

 

What you can do then to get him to want you more is to tease him in a general way. Don't give enough info. so he knows it's safe, but leave him wanting more details. i.e. say something like "I'm having dinner with a friend or mine so I can't talk now, he's waiting." (Don't mention the fact that 'dinner' is just Kraft Dinner downstairs and you'll also be eating it with other friends after..) Or..say you're going clubbing with a few hot guy friends or something, to tease him a bit & get him jealous. This technique may, however, backfire on you if he thinks you actually are going out with other people..so make sure you keep it general, light & teasing.

 

Also make it look like you're busy - you can't get in touch with him everyday or meet him whenever he wants..

 

Hope that helps..I'm not an expert at this stuff, but it may help add some spice if that's what you're looking for..

 

sparrow

[Day_Walker]

Well here is your first problem you want to be a challenge but you hate to play games, you have to play games in order to be a challange. Being a challenge is difficult if you have never done it or if you dont act that way naturally. There are other downsides to being a challange it is possible that the person could lose interest. Since you dont like to play games i will give you some simple things to do

1.Be the one to end your conversations first

2.Dont answer everytime he calls.

3. Use indirect methods of communication i.e. text message, email etc

4. Talk with him at sparatic times

5.Dont call when you say you are going to

6.Make sure he contacts you more than u contact him (ideally 3/1 or 4/1)

 

That should be enough to get you started.

[sbrew21]

I am pretty good about not calling. He calls me everyday, and the only time I really call him is if I am returning his call. I have played the game and I know I could do it, I just normally choose not to but I do know that is the only way I am going to win this guy over. The easiest way would to not care, but that is a lot easier said than done. He is the type of person that let's just say for example I met someone else. It wouldn't bother him, he doesn't get jealous, and he would just move on and get over it. However, this could be just a facade he puts on as well. I just don't want him to think he has me wrapped around his finger and I feel like in a relationship someone always has more control. I really really want to be the one with more control. I appreciate your advice on everything. I will definitely keep in mind what you guys said.

[sbrew21]

Well I am trying to be the whole challenge. It just doesn't seem to be working. My b/f used to call me everyday. I went to visit him and I saw him seven days in a row and we had a great time together. Now he hasn't called me since I have been back in town and I don't understand why. It's been a week. Can anyone explain what is going on. Is he bored and over me already, and if he is why won't he just tell me so I don't try to analyze it. I really don't understand guys at all!!