I love this girl, and not sure is she feels the same....NEED

[Diablo5]

Hi everyone, my problem is as follows:

 

There this girl who I used to make fun of becuase she was chuncky, i mainly did it to cover up the fact that i think she's actually pretty. She's lost some weight and looks beautiful. We somehow bumped into each other in the store she works at and started talkin, she was quite surprised cuz i was always the "gangster" who no one evers talks back to etc, and all of the sudden we're talking. After that day we started to become friends and she realized i wasn't like she'd thought i'd be. We went out to the waterfalls in the area to just sit and talk to one another alone a couple of times, and she told me things bout herself that, i assume, no one else knows about.

 

anyway, last night i took her out in a limo to some fancy lounge/restaurant/club in downtown and we had a great time there and after when we just walked around downtown. she said she had a great time and i'm the first person who made her feel so special and took her out the way i did.

 

Problem is that she's seeing some guy from work who's leaving to another city in a couple of weeks, i'm not sure what i should do!! I know that they'll probably part ways eventually and i don't want to see her get hurt, but i'm scared to tell her how i feel about her becuase she is seeing someone after all. PLEASE HELP ME ON THIS I'M REALLY LOST THIS TIME

[Double J]

First thing's first. The guy is leaving to another city, but for how long? Is it a temporary thing or is he moving? That's very important because if it's only for a few weeks or months, I'm sure she doesn't plan on breaking up with him. If it is long-term, then you're just gonna have to wait man, until she she decides that she's tired of waiting or feels it'd be better to see other people. But it's really up to her if and when to make this decision. It'd probably be a good idea to ask her, very casually, what she makes out of him leaving, and what she thinks will happen after that. If she cares about him a lot and wants to make it work, you gotta respect that. But if she gives you an inconclusive answer like "I'm not sure" then continue getting to know her better and maybe gradually, things will come together for you. Good Luck

[Diablo5]

the guy is leaving to univesrsity, so i guess thats pretty long term

[lilsht05]

In my opinion I think that you should sit down and tell her something like this: "I don't know that I should tell you this because you are with (name) But I think that I need to, I have a lot of feelings about you that I am not sure of, I think I love you and I know that I shouldn't because you are with someone. But I can't help the way I feel about you!" I think that way you are not being too bold, but you are telling her your feelings. And if she really said all that about the way you treated her she will understand.

[Diablo5]

if i say something along those lines i could scare her off and that would not only ruin my chance with her but can severe our friendship

[lilsht05]

Before you tell her that, tell her that you do not want to ruin what you already have and ask her if you can tell her something without her getting freaked out! Maybe don't tell her that you lovew her right away, tell her that you have feelings for her and it is getting really hard for you to keep ignoring those feelings. And by the way, when you are telling someone your feelings, there is always a chance that it won't work out and that you will freak them out! Sometimes you just have to take that risk!

 

-keep us posted!

[Diablo5]

Sounds true enough. Now comes the question of when to tell her.

 

Her birthday is on September 3rd (which she's spending with the guy she's seeing). So the night before that i have a limo pickin us up and driving us to the yacht i got for the night. She's never been on yachts and in limos and all that fancy stuff so i figured i'd surprise by taking her out like that with servents and hosts and all that.

 

Now, should i ask her before, during, or after? reasoning: before might ruin the plan, during might screw up the night and we're stuck on a yacht, after....well i dunno bout then...lol

 

 

Thanks for the help so far and in advance

[lilsht05]

I think considering the circumstances, do on the way home after you have had a great evening. She will love everything that you've done for her, by the way! I wish my b/f did stuff like that for me. Anyway, telling her on the way to her house seems like the best thing, to me, to do. That way she will still be thinking about the evening that you put together for her and it will be easier for her to let her feelings out rather than being confined. and if you are doing stuff like this for her a lot, she probably already knows that you have feelings for her!

[Diablo5]

I'm getting some help now too. This guy, who's gay and who i made fun of for years, happens to be her best friend. She made me realise he wasn't such a bad person plus i started feeling bad cuz i don't even know him and i make him life that bit harder. So one day i called out for a bee and apologized, since then we went out to just talk and stuff and we somehow got to the me liking her subject. He gave some advice regarding her and told me that he sees me as being different from others, even by just apologizing and being the only one who has ever done that. He also joked about the advantage of being gay is that girls listen, so he offered to help me out.

 

Every guy has their own way of showing someone else to a good time. I'm treating her, as well as myself, to this. Also if you take your boyfriend out to a place or activity that he has never done before he could do the same to you.

[lilsht05]

I hope that he can help you out and maybe give you some of her feelings and thoughts about you, and hopefully they are good!

 

-I really hope that this works out for you!!

[Diablo5]

my hopes exactly. so how long been goin out with your bf?

[lilsht05]

I've been going out with my bf for 1 1/2 years or so.

[Diablo5]

do you believe in girls asking guys out?

[lilsht05]

Yes I believe that girls asking guys out is perfectly normal. Why do you ask?

[hardcore]

you know what works the best if you go up to this girl and say whats on your mind . quickly fallowed by quote you want to knock boots; end quote

no just tell her how you feel .

[Diablo5]

I dunno, i guess traditionally guys ask girls.....i guess just collecting an opinion

[lilsht05]

Yes, traditionally guys ask girls, but I don't think that there is anything wrong with a girl askign a guy! I've done it, most of the time I got turned down, but I've still done it. I don't anymore though, it's more fun for me the other way around!

[Diablo5]

some poeple are seriously against girls askin guys out, cuz its not traditional but i dont see anything wrong with that. Just shows that the girl has the balls to go up and ask a guy out

[lilsht05]

I guess that I am just not excactly traditional, my bf doesn't always pay for everything. I pay far a lot of stuff, and that isn't traditional at all! How is the whole thing with the girl going, or is it past all ready!?

[Diablo5]

i dunno, i talked to her a few times but i got tons of business stuff i have to go to, and she's working alot. i haven't told her and she never mentioned anything that the guy said so i don't even know.