18 day of NC: my ex added a new female friend on FB today

[PrettyGood]

So it's 18 day of NC and the 18 day from the day we broke-up. I created this thread not to tell someone that I'm spying him secretly. It was created because I wanted to tell this sad news for someone - because ENA loners are my soulmates. No-one in my life is interested in my problems so I'm writing it here.

 

So even if I am blocked from everywhere, I still can see his profile, because we have 1 mutual friend. And I can see his FB wall. Today he added a new blonde (he likes blondes even if I'm dark) girl, 24 y.o. (he's 27) as his new friend. He didn't announced any relationship in between, but I'm very good spy on the internet and I found out that she was found from the another dating website (we met in different). She's from his native city (I'm from the other city, and he even lives in another country at this moment for 3 years! but LDR relationships wasn't a problem for him. And you know, first time I can say that she's really pretty and in her profile I read that she is laughing at herself ironically (his profile sounds very similar and funny too). And I think that this is something common between them. I am very serious girl and I always was looking at our relationship seriously, because I was the one who travelled all this distance for him and made a lot of expensive surprises for him. And I just hoped that when he broke with me 18 days ago 'out of the blue' (now I think that it was planned a long time before) that he will not search for something serious so soon. So how should I feel about it?

 

I know I shouldn't spy his FB profile, because NC is not the way to get him back, but I was always hoping that one day he will understand his fault. And it seems that he even doesn't think about me lot. I blocked my profile from the dating side we met and he doesn't visit that site so often now, but he visits another dating website where he met her. And you know, tomorrow is Easter, I'm celebrating alone, I'm sure he returned home from abroad and met her in reality not so long ago (I think so, because it was his plan to return to home town). And as hard as I'm trying to explain myself that maybe he will never return, it's still hard to explain myself how can he be so cruel and just jump to dating so soon. Like our 1,5 year friendship wasn't serious for him I'm trying to do the best (even using positive thinking) and I want to move on, even going to dates (just to have fun, nothing serious) and today I feel bad for everything I just need some emotional support.

[CrapAtNC]

You are looking for information that you don't want to read. So don't. It's not good to obsess and spy, and you need to work on that insecurity before you even think about getting your ex back.

[Mustang4life]

I was the same way with my ex gf and facebook. I have had 40 days of NC and at about 25 days I was still looking at her profile. Even though I was deleted I had a mutual friend and her privacy is set to friends of friends. I realized that I was only looking for the stuff I did not want to read, like if she is hanging around a new guy. All this information actually hurt me and made me feel worse. I ended up blocking her so I can't see anything that is associated to her on facebook and she can't see mine. If she wants to talk again, she has my number and email.

[TheJerseyKid]

Didn't even have to read the thread because of the title. Why are you spying on your ex's facebook? It's probably one of the most painful set backs (I've done it years ago), and I refuse to let myself do it anymore. Delete as friend and block. Don't worry, if they want to talk to you, they will have to try harder than facebook.

[Slimpee]

My ex blocked me on FB for asking a mutual friend if my ex was seeing anybody.

 

It didn't occur to me at the time but later another friend helped me realize that asking around for info about my ex is disrespectful to the space that my ex wanted.

 

That said, it's hard not to want information on an ex that you want back. Just try to resist and think about how you would react if your ex confronted you about your spying.

[PrettyGood]

Well I think I'm spying because I had a thought that he had left me because of one blonde which was living abroad next to him. She was calling him, and bringing him food, but he always argued and denied that he feels something for her. Maybe I thought that several weeks will pass and he will announce their relationship status on FB, but I just saw that he added a new blonde girl, and it shocked me a little because it wasn't planned at all...