Am I hurting her, or just myself?

[TehNomad]

I'm very confused and I need some feedback... mostly from les filles as I think these are pretty common idiosyncracies!

 

I very recently took quite a big chance with her girl (well, all I did was tell her I like her quite a bit more than a friend, but as a rule these things go dreadfully for me) and she was fairly civil, flattered and everything, but said she didn't think she felt the way I did (er, do).

 

As a bit of background, we are quite close. She's my best friends sister, who I've posted about before, and in the 5+ years I've known her, we've become like soulmates. We can confide lots of things in eachother, but there's always been a big barrier because (although he was a long while ago) my friend isn't aware of my feelings and doesn't account for me trying to spend any tiny pieces of time with her. Most of my talking with her has been quite recent, ever since we started talking on MSN.

 

It was only in the last couple of days that I broke the news to her via email because I hadn't seen her for a while before and wasn't going to for a bit afterwards. She took it really well, and was quite happy about it, but obviously suggested we stay great friends, etc, etc.

 

What I wanted to ask (oh, yeh, forgive the stupidly long introduction...) was that since then I've found myself being overly nice to her, as in compliments of her character, looks etc. She always gives them an enourmous 'aawww' with a vast amount of Ws in some cases, and seems to feel genuinely appreciated; but I don't know if I am just making her feel guilty, because immediately after I did send her that email, she said she did feel very guilty for having to turn me down. But ever since then, she's been very soppy.

 

I just hope I am not actually making her feel worse off. She says it makes her feel appreciated, but I am being quite open with my feelings at the same time. So is it just myself I am mucking about? Or is there even a snowflake's hope in hell that I still have a chance?

 

By the way, if you've been bothered to read to this point, you're stronger than most, thank you so much!

 

God, the back of my eyes sting now..

[ClareMsUK]

hey, i think you should leave the situation as it is, in her hands! if you talk to her leave out the compliments and stuff, she doesn't need all that! she now knows how you feel and playing it a little cooler will probably help! i don't mean act cool with her just cooler in the sense of be nice but not sickenly nice, do you know what i mean? women like getting complimented but too much can be a little desperate, or else do it jokingly, make witty remarks as opposed to soppy ones! good luck x

[TehNomad]

Good! Sounds about right!

 

Thank you!!